I am really frustrated with my 17 months old ,he is not sleeping at night.He is cranky all the day.
I have to manage official work as well.
My family blames me for every little thing happen to child.
There is no support from husband as such in managing child.
Child is always doing mamma mamma and I am really irritated that I sometimes scolds him out of frustration

I think it’s time for your husband and family to help you and not blame you. You can’t be held responsible for everything going on with a toddler.

You need to reframe the frustration. A child by design is needy. If a 17 month old is home all day while you and husband are working, he has no engagement or attention. He is also not getting all his energy out so he can sleep better at night. He is clingy because he craves your attention. Find things for him to do; find a daycare, Montessori, anything. Also, full time childcare plus full time work is a recipe for complete and utter failure.
I don’t want to comment on your marriage but husband sound like a bad father and an even worse husband. What sort of person leaves their partner to stew in their own frustration and blame them without helping? And what sort of person doesn’t help their own child? Don’t have more kids with this one is my only comment here.

I’d start by reframing your frustrations away from him and at the situation. He’s a product of his environment and likely needs more or less of something (or just regression, teething, something out of your hands). Trial and error will be a part of kids sleep hygiene at least until they grow out of naps.

Secondly, working while being expected to care for another dependent human is a set up for failure and frustration all around.

Husband… seems like he needs a reality check and some therapy could help you to work through this if he’s open wanting to improve your dynamic.

Without childcare you’re going to have a really hard time thoughtfully parenting and regulating yourself while expecting to perform at work. Once you have help and get into a better routine, you can schedule dedicated time to spend with your kiddo and rebuild healthy attachment that doesn’t feel annoying.

This shouldn’t be all on you.

As others have said - trying to work a job outside the home while full time parenting is simply unreasonable and unsustainable.

Remember that children are not giving you a hard time - they are having a hard time. It’s normal and human to snap occasionally - just make sure to set a good example and repair with your child when you do. “Mommy is sorry she yelled at you earlier. It is never your fault when I yell. I was not doing a good job of regulating my emotions.”

Your husband and family sound like real pieces of work. You cannot do it all yourself and criticizing you isn’t supporting you. As others have said - don’t have more kids with this guy.

Are you still breastfeeding? I had this problem with my child too and at the same age. Turns out breastfeeding was making him wake up (for comfort) all hours of the night, and he was so clingy. I chalked it up to normal baby behavior, but sleep and clinging improved once I stopped breastfeeding

You def need childcare during the hours you are working.
Have you considered sleep training? It worked wonders for my firstborn who had gotten into a cycle of not sleeping well, then being cranky during the day because she was tired and as a result of daytime crankiness wasn’t eating well during the day and then not sleeping well because she got hungry at night. It was a vicious cycle.
If not willing to sleep train, let your child eat whatever he likes for a day or two to break the cycle so he doesn’t need calories at night. Do not pick toddler up at night, just pat back to sleep and see if that helps toddler with not waking up as frequently. Some nights I would sleep on the floor next to crib and pat toddler through the crib bars

I had similar issues. Turns out my kid had sleep apnea. C-pap machine started at age 8 was life changer. Wish it had been caught earlier.

I always apologize when I snapped due to anger or frustration. It’s important to me to model that.

Could he have an ear ache? My kids never complained about earaches but oh, did they get crabby and needy and demanding. With 3 sons, I’d take them all w me to the pediatrician and all 3 inevitably would have ear infections. My middle son needed tubes, yet never complained. That’s one thing that popped out in my mind. Good luck!

My kids didn’t sleep through the night until past 2 years old. And he is wanting time with his mama, of course that’s reasonable. It takes a village and lots of family support to be a consultant mom. I find my kids are happier when I do spend more time with them and then they can be more independent. A toddler is still very much a baby. Be kind to yourself, give yourself grace. Hugs to you mama.

My Wife and I went through this with our now 3 year old. We learned our son was up at night because he didn’t get enough attention and connection throughout the day. My wife now runs a small business part-time to be home more.

Does he nap?

Maybe your kid is teething or sick? If your child is healthy, I would do the following:

1. Sleep train. There are gentle methods you can look up if you don’t want to let him cry it out. I have a 3yo and 18mo and both have gone through phases but thankfully they now sleep well. The baby has 1 nap for 2-3 hours after lunch and sleeps 12 hours at night.
2. I would have a heart-to-heart discussion with your husband. Has the expectation always been that you would care for the child 100% and he would do nothing? It sounds like he needs to step it up. Even if I were a stay-at-home mom I would demand my husband do half the childcare during the hours he is not at his job.
3. If your husband wants to be more involved but cannot due to a valid reason like he is incapacitated or works and lives in a different location, I would take help from family or pay for extra help. You cannot pour from an empty cup and you need time to rest and recuperate. Do you get any time for yourself?

I hope things improve for you!

I also had kids that would wake up in the middle of the night. It got better when they stopped napping during the day. Your husband & his family should be helping with childcare instead of making you do all the work. Shame on them!
I would find day care for several days a week. You need time for yourself, even if you spend part of that time working. It sounds like you work from home while taking care of a very young child, which is the worst of all worlds.

It's not that baby"s fault at all whatsoever happening. Yourself and your husband CHOSE to bring him into the world, he had absolutely no say in the matter. He's not trying to punish you, he simply needs more than you are currently capable of giving him. The only people punishing you are your husband and family and then you are taking it out on the child when really you should be standing up for yourself and demanding more support.

please stop scolding your son. he is innocent.

Is this child eating normal food? Some kids love to eat. In some cultures, mama means food. If you have not already try giving the child variety of things to eat. Consider yours and your husbands allergies and avoid giving the child those things for now.

It's time for you and hubby to sit down and discuss parenting support of each other for your child. Both parents are needed to raise your child together. Talking about it will put clear expectations and goals. Take turns helping out and enlist family help if needed.

If your husband ad family did not help until now , I don’t see the point of talking to them and making them help. It just won’t work. Accept the fact you are alone in this journey. As someone from Asian household I have seen this multiple times. It just gets more frustrating for you if you don’t accept the fact that you and only are responsible for the kid and dad has done the part by graciously providing his sperm. Sad but true. Once you accept this then try to hire help (for which you will be blamed again and shammed but hey who cares you already accepted that they are useless) so then once you hire help, you will slowly figure out how to run your day. Take it from
There.