I am so tired of my daily internal battles of “ to work or stay at home with my kids”. I have a 16mo old and almost 4yr old. Our nanny of 4 yrs told me basically that my older son is awful and doesn’t clean up or listen to her etc. and started to blame me that we let him do anything. Yesterday I saw my coworker’s revised comp plan and he’s making $35k more salary and 2x my commission rate…yet he has less experience than me. I keep saying I think these are signs (see rest of message below)

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No matter what you end up doing with your job, the nanny has to go. She is employed by you and needs to offer kindness and solutions, not just blame and continued problems. There are better nannies out there!

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Well she quit today and tomorrow is her last day. I feel so fooled by this lady. 🤬

No judgement. Do what you have to do but to me these would be signs that to negotiate / find a new job that pays you your worth and find a new nanny. For reference I have 2 kids and a nanny for 7 years as in hopefully you don’t think I am giving some out of touch thoughts.

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Appreciate the response! It’s good to know I’m not being overly sensitive about the nanny. My husband was traveling yesterday so wasn’t there to hear what she was saying and how she was saying it…but he tends to think I need to just give it a few days and sit down and talk with her. However, I literally can’t get all the things she said out of my head and feel like I don’t feel comfortable or trust her now with being the support my kids need. It was just an outburst of how he doesn’t have any discipline and we let him do whatever and no consequences and he doesn’t clean up anything or listen and just screams. When I asked her how she handled things with her previous family she nannied for she just kept saying “the girls listened!” And then went on to say even when my son was younger he never listened etc. which I don’t even know how to respond to bc why are you just telling me now?!

I told my husband yesterday, well now this makes sense why my son cries for his nanny on the weekend when he doesn’t get his way with us….bc she apparently doesn’t set any boundaries for him, whereas we do….even though according to her we don’t discipline. 😩

What about daycare? I always said I didn’t have to keep my kids in line because they did it for me. I didn’t feel guilty about it! 😀 I was super stressed at work too.

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I’ve been telling my husband I’ve been miserable the last few months and I’m working my ass off. I start at 8ish and then sign off at 5 and then back working most nights around 8- 10 or 11. I just feel like I need to quit and these are signs I should just take some time to focus on my family but yet I can’t seem to pull the trigger and quit. What if I’m miserable or make a mistake? Anyone have advice? I am so stressed bc I don’t know what to do.

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So I brought up a raise for my salary and increased commission and my boss said he can prob do something in June. Problem is, I don’t even know if I’ll make it to June at this rate bc I just am burning out and not happy. My husband also has told me to quit if I’m not happy…and I’m lucky to be in a position that I could really do that, but it’s so scary to think about doing this.

Considering your nanny quit, take some FMLA to find a new one, catch your breath, and sniff out another easier opportunity where you’re paid what you’re worth.

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