I went to an industry event and spent half the night wondering if I was talking enough or smiling enough to be "likeable." Networking feels like performance art sometimes. Does anyone else feel like you are acting instead of connecting?

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My approach to these types of events is to stay focused on good vibes — keep it light and make a good first impression while checking to see if anyone has energy that I feel positive about — and establish an initial connection with as many of those people whom I get a good feeling about as possible. The amount of time I spend with anyone varies depending on how the conversation flows. If I start to feel worn out or doubt myself — any negative feeling at all — I take that as my cue to leave. Either my energy or the ambiance is not there at that moment, and that’s ok. Later, I will do my follow up research on the people I met and their organization, and any follow up. You’re doing great by going to the event. You will impress the right people you are meant to impress and the right people will make an impression on you. Try to enjoy the moment and let it go.

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Ha every time. I hate all the schmoozing, but everyone says it's important, so I show up anyway and then wonder why I thought things would be any different this time around. I almost always walk away feeling like I've wasted my evening.

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I feel that so much. I go in hoping for genuine conversations and end up replaying every smile and word in my head. Sometimes it feels like networking rewards performance more than authenticity. Do you still go often?

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I find the key is to keep moving at industry events just so you don't get trapped in pointless or tedious conversations. But if you can strike up a decent rapport with someone it's worthwhile. Meeting people and then staying in touch is all that's required.

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That’s a good tip. I tend to linger too long in one spot and then feel drained. Maybe movement is the trick to keeping it light. When you do click with someone, how do you keep the follow-up natural?

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I get that completely. Networking often feels more like putting on a mask than making genuine connections. I try to focus on finding one or two real conversations instead of worrying about “working the room.”

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I actually hate networking, I’m not good at schmoozing and I really don’t want to sell myself and sound pretentious, I’m always impressed when people can network so naturally and casually tbh

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Up until a certain point in your career, hopefully long and successful, you will need to shine. Selling oneself is vital in many industries. In a matter of speech.

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