"If people actually bothered to be careful, we wouldn't have so many rules."

Hello .. Anyone joining UBS on 31st October in Pune location?

Do we have to sign a bond if PWC buys out an employee from the previous company?

Planet Fitness is literally the worst gym, and if that stupid Lunk alarm goes off at 6:15am, I'm gonna rip it down with my bare hands and grunt the whole time I'm doing it.

If I start a full-time position as a Product Engineer, what salary should I expect within the Metro-Detroit Area?

Anyone recently joined Infosys as a lateral haired
Pls DM me

Coin of the Week 1: Monetha (MTH)

To any copywriter reading this. Can you share what an amazing portfolio looks like. I want to see what I'm lacking.

M&A/PE associate (trying to juggle multiple deals) feeling like I don’t have time to dive deeper into issues and it being highlighted in some of my work product as I am having to turn things right away and just pushing things out - so issues I may have caught if I had a better/deeper/higher level understanding are more apparent when partners review. Truly feeling like I’m just messing up all around but trying to give myself grace. How do you know if it’s just you or a part of the process?

Who is everyone voting for this coming city election? I don't want another four years of John Tory.

Is working in VC Ops for a T10 Series A fund a good opportunity? This would be an internship preMba. I’m making a career shift as a vet and looking to land a VC investor role post b school (ideally HS) Anecdotally I understand seed and series A VC is very network based so this would be a chance to meet great folks, but ultimately not the investing experience I’m hoping for. Other internship options include start-up or consulting.

Oral surgeon recommendations in the area? I need to get my wisdom teeth removed.

Wtff still the office address is not given 🥲🥲🥲

How much percent of the variable pay generally people can get in EY GDS. Got an offer with 15% as variable pay in an cloud architect role. In average how much people get..

“i just fell asleep in the elevator”

“Fuck it I’m going to PDF this bitch"

I made an announcement during our team meeting that I'll be taking another job offer. My petty boss said, "Well now that we have a little more budget, the rest of you will be getting raises!"

Boss2 (American): “Why can’t I just do THIS?”
Boss1 (American): “Because it just complicates things! Why do you have to go and throw a spanner in the wheel?!”
Boss3 (British): “Spanner in the wheel?? You’re mixing up your metaphors. It’s spanner in the works.”
Boss2: “What’s a spanner?”
Boss3: “In ENGland where we speak ENGlish, it’s the item you mistakenly refer to as a wrench.”
Boss2: “So – a wrench in the works?”
Boss3: “Yes, it’s a tool that screws everything up …like you.”

Thoughts on “special” salary grades. I just found out the VP I was offered is not a grade 12 like most comparable roles (verified). Also not an 11, but an 11A. Slightly higher than an 11, a good bit lower than a 12. All due to the fact that it’s a leap from my current position. Why should that matter…..shouldn’t it pay what it should pay if I am selected, rather that curving down towards my current rate?

AE: I need to take off this afternoon to the attend my grandmother’s funeral.
Owner: Why? She’ll be dead tomorrow too.

How you came into the company will define your path. That’s why you’ll never be successful switching departments.

OH: (RE: required meeting attendance)

"Ok, fine. I will say yes now but fair warning I may fake my own death beforehand."

So overheard after work:

I left a company a while back and a coworker of mine that also left just informed me that one of the C level execs has an SEC decision against him for embezzling several million.

This was from before I worked there...

“Chatroulette, but for apartment peepholes."

"I don’t like morning people. Or morning. Or people”

Words of Wisdom

“I get such a rush when I’m eating a taco."

I'll stick around for the bonus but want to make my side hustle my main career next year.
The side hustle is Scentsy...

“I mean if you need me I will be around...like in my house... not doing anything”

I used to get lit on LITS (Long Island Iced Tea) ummmm you didn’t use lit correctly. But I’m starting to use the word extra correctly. LOL #facepalm

Can anyone send me invites/codes to the EY and KPMG bowls?

“I feel like I’m the stupidest person here”
“You are not stupid. You literally work at one of the top consulting firms in the world”
“I literally got a 6% in one exam during undergrad”
“Well damn I guess you are stupid”

“Those glasses don’t make you look younger, they make you look older—but slightly more cool.”

🥺

I was in a meeting, and there was a new attendee, a fellow Asian guy.

Senior member: “Hi [new attendee’s name], where are you from?”

New attendee: “from [city and state]”

Senior member: “No, where are you reeeeaaaallllyyy from?”

**awkward silence**

New attendee: “from God”

Well… 🫣

If you are an immigrant and people ask you where you are from, how do you usually respond?

So a higher up made a new rule that for a service we offer , we have to offer it to the customers three times and If they say no a manager has to get involved and document. it is this not wrong?