#OverheardAtWork

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Lawyer: “can we change the term In the announcement to X?” Public affairs officer: “No. we have to use this term Y because that’s what (federal agency) uses. The secretary of (federal agency) s… more

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"You can't have this file, its sensitive. We don't give those to vendors" "I...I work here.."

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So a coworker friend overheard our department head discussing the budget for our position. Safe to say we are both grossly underpaid—her a lot more than me (a man), but even the difference for me is q… more

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“So, if I hate working on [client], but love the rest of my job, but [client] equals job security, then the only way for me to keep the job I love is to hate my job? Cool.”

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“you are on mute”

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Heard during an MSJ argument this morning: THE COURT: “alright, I’m granting Defendant’s Motion. Counsel, you’ll prepare the order, and allow Plaintiff (who is pro se) one week to review as to form an… more

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“We used to have a llama farm a few blocks away where I grew up. Every now and again one would get loose and go for a stroll down the road.”

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Is that a straight or a bent shaft?

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CPO: there are not very many intelligent people working in procurement.

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Important Zoom Person, “Could everyone go on mute.” Text from coworker, “We can hear you poop.”

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Client on redesign call: We want the color palette to move back into the blue realm, we have own-ability in that space.

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Client: "we have a lot of people who haven't been touched in a while"

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While discussing how much we’re over servicing clients with agency partners, CEO, CFO and other top agency leaders. Agency Partner: Saying something is out of scope is such a dicky thing to say to a… more

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Man, "What? I'm in a meeting?" Woman, "Did you leave the refrigerator door open again?" Man, "I can't right now I'm in a meeting, can you close it" Woman, &qu… more

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Everyone: We asked for diversity and visible minorities in this video. This edit shows 90% whites dudes... The producer: The guy in the first shot is latino and there’s also an Irishman and an Austra… more

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I'M CRUNCHY IN THE FACE

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Manager: I’ll take it up when A is done. A: You do it. B: lol why A: he will definitely mess it up

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Question for lawyers: I need a same person affidavit to prove my old passport is the same person as my new passport. Is there a form I can download and get notarized at my local bank, or would the ban… more

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“Paralegals have about a 3-year shelf life”

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My white boss: “I’m not racist because my parents weren’t racist.”

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“I still can’t find any toilet paper. What’s going on, charmin?! Sorry, I’m basically brain dead at this point.”

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“Yeah, [redacted Fortune 100 company] is a huge mess. But it’s our job to clean up their mess. If they weren’t a mess, we’d be out of work.”

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"I've had a memory." We managed to work out our account manager meant "I've just remembered something."

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"I think flogging is integral to the script."

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"This is Shit Fest 2020. Headliners: A Bunch of fuckin Muppets. Supported by Indifference and Cannot Be Arsed 3000"

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"Do we use focused or focussed?" "We go full Nazi" "?" "SS" "Damn it. I was hoping to avoid that."

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