I’m a FTM on maternity leave with a one month old. I’m already missing my job and the mental stimulation and pride I get at work, and I have another ~four months left of my leave. I feel guilty for even thinking that I want to go back to work. Has anyone dealt with this and have tips?

It takes a long time to unwind from the work grind while on mat leave. It’s all just temporary and your hormones are insane so give yourself some grace and try to stop thinking in absolutes. Becoming a mom is an identity crisis itself! Enjoy the time with baby and get a night nurse or daytime help to carve out sometime for yourself. The work will always be there. I wish I slowed down more during mat leave and I’m bummed I don’t have another mat leave coming up because I’m burnt out!

I know what you mean. maternity leave taught me I wouldn't want to be a SAHM. I'm a better mom because I'm able to step outside of the home. with that said I was nowhere near ready to start work after 1 month.

For what it’s worth, I took a six month leave and it got better and better over time. I recovered more physically, my baby got easier to take care of / I got better at it and settled into some rhythms that worked for me, and at the sane time my baby developed more of a personality and started smiling more and more.
Parts of my routine that made things better for me — daily walks, eventually working up to outings with the baby for coffee or lunch, getting into workouts after 6-8 weeks, books and movies when nap trapped, an occasional lunch or dinner with friends while my husband watched the baby.
Try to figure out what feels good for you and I hope you can get help from your partner or loved ones to make time for yourself too

Are you sure that's not post-partum depression?

I was the same with my first and totally had PPD. But with the second baby, it was totally different. I was really enjoying the mat leave, because I knew how quickly it will pass and that it's my last baby. No kidding, in about 2 months your baby will not be a tiny newborn anymore and you will get a hang of this new life - motherhood. Before you know it, the baby will change again, and then again. Your brain is looking for a familiar stimulation from work, and working very hard with all the motherhood related changes. Give it some time. ❤️ Conflicting feelings are so common, but you will be a working mom so very soon so no reason to rush. In my opinion, working mom life is so hard that I'd hang onto every minute of leave.

Tip #1: (and I can not stress this enough) Do not go back to work early. Try to do something else that gives you mental stimulation. Your baby needs their mama close these first few months. Baby needs your attachment more than you “need to work”. Not to be cliche, because you WONT enjoy EVERY moment, but do try to soak it all in. The boringness. The slowness. You’ll never get this time back with your baby while they’re this little. I just came back from my 4.5 month maternity leave and I cried hysterically the 2 weeks leading up to it mourning my maternity era and time with baby. I’d kill to have more time 😔

Does your leave policy allow you to take the time in weekly increments? Ours allow you to take the 12 week leave in weekly increments so some people take 4-6 weeks off and then do one week a month after that

I adopted some other hobbies while baby was napping. It’s one of the few times you have and good to flex/find other muscles.

Also you’re 1 month in, still on hormonal rush and might feel very burnt out at other times. Going back to work is energizing in some ways but depleting in others when you hit a breaking point. Which hopefully you won’t but motherhood is a roller coaster. Not a linear path like the one that might have gotten us there.

Totally normal. Also. IMO, one month olds are boring blobs. I have always said how much it sucks that we have to go back to work RIGHT when the baby is getting cute and fun lol. Do i want to hang out with a four week old? No. But give show me a six month old and thats so much harder to leave !!!