I'm finding navigating secondary infertility incredibly difficult, particularly because of having to balance the desire for a second child with the demands of parenting my existing one. What strategies or sources of support have you found most helpful in managing this emotional rollercoaster? And also, what has been the most unexpected or challenging aspect of this journey, while already parenting another child/children?

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The worse part of my journey in secondary infertility has been how lonely I feel. NOBODY gets why one kid is not enough and I feel judged and guilty for not appreciating the amazing kid I have. I love him more than words can describe and it’s hard to have to explain why I want another.

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How old is your child? I commented above and just got brought back to this thread by your comment, currently holding my three month old who was conceived via IVF. If you want a second child, you don’t have to explain why to anyone. My older son is 8. We had begun to think it was too late at some point and also wondered whether it was worth it to start over, my son was gaining more independence and I felt like I had a certain level of freedom back to go out and have fun etc, “had my body back” to the extent possible, but I always felt called to have one more.
Happy to chat if you ever want to send me a pm.

For me, one of the most helpful strategies has been to compartmentalize my emotions as much as possible, especially when I'm with my child. I try to be fully present with them, savoring those moments, and then allow myself to feel the grief or frustration related to infertility when they're asleep or I have some quiet time. Establishing a strict "no fertility talk" rule during family dinner has also been a game-changer for our household's peace. As for sources of support, connecting with other parents going through secondary infertility, like in this group, has been invaluable.

It’s really hard not knowing why.. My first pregnancy was so easy and smooth but it just never happened again. I always wanted to have two kids relatively close together (maybe 3 yrs tops) and never wanted an only child. It’s tough to navigate everyone asking when you’re having a second one. Eventually I started giving tmi answers that would make people uncomfortable on purpose so they’d stop asking.
I’m now pregnant via IVF (our insurance plan quietly added fertility coverage 2 years ago and didn’t announce it, I found it by accident) and my boys will have an 8 year age gap if all goes well.

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