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Give yourself grace and time
You’re conflating returning from mat leave with bad things that happen all the time. Give yourself some grace.
Practical tip: Look at your portfolio. Remember the successes along the way. Remember, you can do this.
Did you or the quality of your work cause the client to leave? Likely not, so don't be so hard on yourself. Clients come and go all the time. It's mostly due to their lack of a marketing budget and not anything you did. Chin up. You may just be having your heart tugged due to having a child now. It happens to most of us as employees with new babies. You can feel torn in half and not confident in your work or your parenting skills as a result. That feeling will pass, and you'll soon feel more confident at both. Hang in there, and huge congrats on your little one.
Recently, I read a book (Beyond Anxiety by Martha Beck) that explained how our brains function. The book used the analogy of a ‘hall of mirrors’ to illustrate how the left brain can spiral into a self-amplifying cycle of anxiety creating Imposter syndrome or self doubt.
Apparently, this is a completely natural process, and breaking free from this spiral can provide relief from the symptoms.
I found all this information quite enlightening. Perhaps reading this book can help explain why and what you’re feeling.
I was disabled for nine years. Rebuilding my career was the hardest thing I had to do. But I always remember that every day I'm alive is a gift, and that none of this matters. You're working to support the people you love, so take that love and use it to motivate you to push forward. No time to wonder if you're good enough. Just be good enough.