What did you think would happen? Pretty much any job is the same (McDonald’s, dentist office, swim instructors, etc) where people are being utilized to the max. That’s capitalism 101. Old tale as long as time, only difference is that we, for the most part, have escaped slavery and the agrarian lifestyle. Our time is finite, and frankly, we have to keep on keeping on and find joy in life and appreciate this life while it lasts. All that to say, enjoy, and if you’re able to, pray to find meaning in life/Jesus, The Savior of His creation.

AA1 is a lil goofy. Yes, I also feel this way. There are some periods of time where I'm like "heck yeah I'm doing great and so locked in" and then other periods where I'm certain I can't do this another minute or I'm definitely going to lose my mind and run into the sea. I feel you with finding it hard to stay motivated. No advice, but letting you know you are not alone. Also, try to remember that when you see other people typing away, you're just seeing a snippet and it's likely they struggle sometimes, too.

This resonated a lot with me, OP. First few years I could not comprehend how people could be productive for 8+ hours a day. Improving my sleep helped a lot. Track your sleep with a smartwatch and see how much deep sleep you’re getting. If it’s low it could be sleep apnea or some kind of ENT problem keeping you from breathing well. I used to feel exhausted after 8 hours of sleep, now I feel rested and focused even if I get 5.

Believe me, you are not alone. I am 35, and every day I think about retiring and not having to hustle and grind every single day. I love my job, don't get me wrong. But there is so much more to life than working and paying bills.

Love your honest post. Lots of interesting responses here.

I just wanted to add that, as you progress through your career, especially if you stay out of law firms, the work you do will evolve dramatically. You'll (potentially) go from reviewing contracts, to working with a team on how to solve problems, to managing a team, to directing a function, to advising the leadership of an organization. These are all very different jobs and that helps keep things fresh. One may enjoy some rungs on the career ladder more than others. But finding that balance between mentally engaged/in flow and busy/overtaxed is a real thing. If the work you are currently doing isn't it -- even if you think you enjoy it -- maybe the next rung on the ladder will be it. Or the one after that. Or maybe at another company. I've generally found that if the work is truly interesting and I'm working with fun people, the time flies and it feels effortless. If either aspect is lacking, oof. it becomes quite the slog.

Good luck to you!

Yes! I feel this! Some days things are running so smoothly and I love it. I’m completely dialed in and feel confident and capable and eager to go into work. But then some days thinking about doing this for another 30 years is absolutely soul crushing. Is this really it? I worked so hard to just continue to work so hard forever?

I think most people feel this way at least some of the time. Definitely agree with what others say re health. It helped me to actually go to my first primary care appointment a few years back. It also helped me to think about the things that are critical to me in terms of life goals. For me, this meant planning ahead for travel, becoming a volunteer for people in my community, and taking up some hobbies. Prioritizing my partner and friendships has been very rewarding.

Sounds like you need to address sleep and physical + mental health.

Here's a hot take. Human beings are maladjusted to modern life. We weren't meant to sit in stationary settings, hunched over, staring at various screens all day. Your feelings of apathy reflect this.

This is true for the vast majority of people. People have a lot of ways to cope, some healthier than others. Take the time to smell the roses and enjoy the small things in life, treat yourself, and as AA1 said, maybe look to God for a deeper meaning/purpose.

All the time. There are a lot of personal reasons. One is that we're human beings with a variety of needs such as creativity, doing something that feels like it matters, human connection, etc. We're not robots. Perhaps you just need a different practice area or different firm. Perhaps you need to start your own practice. Maybe it's something else?

I really appreciate you starting this conversation and everyone's comments because I have the same wonderings. I'm in my early 30s, I have a great job, and I still don't know if I can see myself doing this long-term. Up until this point life was always about working towards the next thing; there was light at the end of the tunnel. Now we've gotten there and the thought is, "Is this it? This is my life now?" I bill more than most in my firm but what is not on paper is all the time I spend hyping myself up to ACTUALLY DO THE WORK. It's wild.

I think I need to reframe from striving to the future to being more present and aligned with my purpose. A beautiful quote I recently came across from Brianna Wiest "You extrapolate the present moment because you believe that success is somewhere you "arrive," so you are constantly trying to take a snapshot of your life and see if you can be happy yet....We find ourselves thinking: "Is this all there is?" because we forget that everything is transitory, and no one single instance can summarize the whole. There is nowhere to "arrive" to. The only thing you're rushing toward is death. Accomplishing goals is not success. How much you expand in the process is." This spoke to me, and maybe it does you?

Perhaps a lesson is to first figure out if there are ways to optimize your productivity and mindset to be able to slog through the day, and assess that not in the moment but with a broader view with a longer time horizon - on average, HOW productive were we and how did we get there? There will be harder days and easier days, and are there tips that help us stay motivated? I just had a 2.5 hour client meeting with these amazing women in a CIA-like job and they made me so excited to help them, whereas the prospect of slogging through documents for a pastor client I have never met is a major drag. I'm wondering if maybe I need to develop a personal connection to the work, and maybe have my assistant check in with me daily to check on the status of my tasks. I dont think it's working for me to have tasks with no defined timelines from the higher-ups and perhaps creating my own external accountability measures will be helpful.

Next, if that isn't working or if you are feeling called elsewhere, explore that. Or work on it on the side if you have time. I'm currently in a memory course (learning how to make memory palaces) and using work as a training ground. I'm also considering taking hot yoga teacher training and see how I feel about teaching (and maybe one day starting a studio).

Apologies for the very long message; I hope this was helpful and if not then I have appreciated the opportunity to share and put into words my own struggles. Ultimately I think little experiments is key to really explore yourself in this season of your life. I also agree with the commenter who said that maybe your coworkers aren't actually as productive / efficient / motivated as you think. Looking busy can be real easy.

Agree. I was honestly so relieved when my kids were born and it became socially acceptable to work part time and spend a couple of days a week at a farm, playground, the zoo, etc.

lol i wake up at 5 or 6 for work but life is good, its all a matter of POV

Sometimes, I’m that coworker that’s typing away, but I’m actually in the middle of burnout and looking at clerkship listings to feel like there’s an “out.” At least once a week, I imagine dropping everything and becoming a stereotypical wanderer in a mid-life crisis. I’d love to say it gets better as you treat the underlying mental health issues, but it’s just me, my Vyvanse, and my therapist’s wait list against the world

I have plenty of good advise to help you with but first we need to discuss my retainer and hourly rate

Look into an ADHD diagnosis. You can be an extremely good student and still have ADHD. It doesn’t always look the same for everyone, especially if you’re a woman. That may not resonate at all, but if it does, then there are plenty of things you can do to increase dopamine and create an environment that supports your work style. Good luck

There were days I’d be in office for like 14 hours and do at most 6 hours of work, other days I’m near 100% efficiency
If you don’t like your team, or the things you’re working on, it’s difficult to really feel fired up. Ideally you find some people you care about or enjoy spending time with and find a way to make the work meaningful enough. And keep perspective, work is work — your family is infinitely more important. if you don’t have one, go make one

Do you have an assistant? Can you offload more document drafting and other non attorney tasks to that person and then you can review the docs after they are drafted?

Maybe find ways to be more efficient?

Also, maybe make sure you take a break during the day. Hi to lunch, even if you just go and sit in your car or take a walk.

Self care is important, too. Having your favorite coff the or other similar beverage, listening to your favorite music, reading a good book, etc.