Racism is making me feel incredibly insecure. My self esteem is taking a hit. I didn’t grow up rich and I’m suddenly in a rich white town on the west coast. I’m afraid to go inside luxury stores bec of the stares and treatment so I order curbside. I don’t go for walks around my neighborhood bec people don’t think I live here and I wave at neighbors and am ignored. I’m feeling miserable. Does someone have advice

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So sorry to hear that. When workers follow me in stores. I make them my personal assistant and explain everything to me then I don’t buy anything. And when some neighbors are less than unwelcoming I tell my children that they eat children and stay away from them. I’m petty. Lol.

likefunnysmart

I love this!

My advice would actually be to embrace it. Now, obviously it sucks having to be the bigger person but what you’re doing right now is creating an opportunity for people to see Black people in their spaces and build a comfortability which works both ways right because once people start getting more comfortable with you being around, you in turn will feel comfortable around them. You earned that space, when you see people in there staring at you say good morning. When you walk into a store and they’re staring at you funny, say hi it always catches them off guard because then they want to say can I help you with something and then you say no I just noticed that you were staring at me so I figured I would say hello. All this is doing is forcing them to challenge their thought process.

likehelpful

Can you move??

likehelpful

Bay area for me... SF was just not it, Sunnyvale was too disconnected from real life, Oakland felt difficult unless you were purely radical, Berkeley was for the academics but even then, super radical. I didn't mind the politics in general but the fun you can have with money isn't where the fun people are. None of the fun people had that kind of money (in my limited experience, so grain of salt, just an 18 months transplant perspective before I ran away)

When I first moved into my community, I was the only black woman, and at first it was kind of uncomfortable, but I actually don’t feel threatened by white people. But I would start staring them back in the face, and then I would start introducing myself not to have small talk, because that’s not my thing, but just to acknowledge, I see you looking at me.

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Girrrl. Don’t let those racist fools intimidate you or run you away. From my experience, you should experience less judge looks at the upscale stores if you’re dressed nice. Unfortunately people of all races judge and most treat you better when you’re dressed up. Also, if they treat you bad at those stores, they don’t deserve your $$

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Reading this is making me tear up, thank you 🙏🏾

likehelpful

It’s work….as is most of the things that we are expected to do. But it gets better. You just have to believe that because you play a role in this too. And by leaving or moving all it’s doing is delaying the timeline for this to change not just for you, but for all of us.

uplifting

Girl, where are you... I'll be in the LA region for the next week... let me help you walk around your hood and be your cheerleader!!!!!

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This would have been great! I wish I was closer to LA

Rise up! Same thing happened when I changed my zip code. You have to train yourself even go into one store. I was raised also multicultural. However you belong one step at a time. Go in stores even if its to buy a perfume. Years later still happens in certain neighborhoods. Don’t look for neighbors. Be kind & courteous. Racism is also fear. Clearly you moved so you belong. Dress presentable everywhere you go. Is this San Francisco? It also happens when you travel. Also buy a puppy that will help break the ice.

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Transfer to the DC office. Best office imo (and I’m in NY)

likesmart

I believe if I’m in a space I belong there and operate accordingly. Upscale retail,? all white male executive meeting? foreign country? I belong there and they are lucky to have me grace them with my presence. Once you realize that belonging starts within it gets much easier and thing’s usually turn out better.

helpful

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