Roast my Resume - Can't understand what am i doing wrong?

Applied to 300+ openings, barely any callbacks & interview invites

ATS Score (acc to resumeworded.com): 97/100
Got resume reviewed from numerous industry professionals like sde3 @ Google, SDE3@ Meta, SDE3 at paypal, and more. All say they can't find any mistakes/ improvements here.

Exp: 1.5 YoE
Targetting: sde1 & 2 roles

What can be improved? Feeling stuck

If You need a referral have Cyber experience and a clearance DM me!

Hi fishes

Need a reality check-
Profile-
Btech (mech) + MBA (non-IIM top 15)
4 years enterprise account management- US based personal computing OEM
1 year Management Consulting- Sales transformation

Input required on-
1. What is my profile fit for account executive role like?
2. What is the salary I can target? (Current- 19.6 fix+ 3.5 JB+ 4 variable) I am gunning for at least 30% jump on fixed.

Would you consider hello fresh as a tech company? Trying to break into tech and wondering if a position at hello fresh can get me there if it’s more of a product role?

Probably worst time but I’m looking to relocate to AUS from Canada - thoughts on this occurring in next 12 months giving hiring environment? Hard to tell without being there on the ground

Hello everyone...!
Infosys has openings for automation testing and ETL testing.
Minimum experience - 2 years
Contact me if interested @

Salesforce resources (Pune,Mumbai,Chennai locations) who want referral in IBM pls DM me. I can refer you immediately and within a day or two u will be contacted by hiring team.
Our project has huge requirement for resources having the below mandatory skills:
I. Good knowledge of Apex ,Batch classes
II. Aura /LWC hands on experience mandatory
III.Integration/REST (custom integration, API calls)

Good to have skills - classic-VF background,UI, Design experience, DevOps - Deployment tools and method

Need a referal in Accenture, Wipro , HCL, Bank of America, Tech M for automation testing openings.

Thanks

Hi,

I have joined Amazon as a Support Engineer(L4) but quite eager to move into a SDE Role. I’m currently unable to figure out a roadmap for the same.

Does Amazon provide any set of resources for upskilling?

What areas to focus on considering myself being a beginner to coding/design stuff & the big question Where to start?

Thanks Again :)

Good day all!

I am interviewing for a FP&A Manager position in Proserv UK. Could you please disclose the initial salary that I could ask for?

Thank you in advance!

Hi Guys,

I have completed my tech interview rounds with UBS and have received email for fitment round.

Can anyone share what happens in this fitment round on interview?
HRs have asked to submit documents even before this fitment round; which seems unusual. Is this normal for UBS and this is how they progress?

Thank you.

Hello travel buddies! I have recently started travel hacking and currently have the Chase Sapphire Preferred, Capital One Venture, Marriott Bonvoy Boundless, and Citi Premier Cards. Please comment if you would like a referral link for any of these!

For folks that are in the interview process, are u negotiating for best salary or just taking what you get , asking because market is slow cause of Covid.

How long did you hear for an update after applying to visa with or without a referral?

Had an interview for an associate position at Citi. Interviewee was based in London and I’m in NYC. The only interview time that worked was 6am. I was barely functioning and feel like I truly messed up in my answers because I couldn’t not think clearly. I have another with the head of the division next week again at 6am (pre determined before this interview). It was also hard because the division’s core work is private enough that there was not much prep I could do beforehand. Tips?

Hello all,
Any openings for the BI tool Spotfire then please let me know. I have basics knowledge on Power BI and Power apps so can quickly pickup those projects as well. YOE 11+ Years. Thanks

Hey Fishes,

Joined LTI recently in P3 band. However not allocated any project. Got a call from the resource management team to relocate, which I rejected upfront as I was promised a role in the location I am posted. It has been over 2 weeks since I am in bench. What shall be the next steps, shall I wait for some days or start looking for other jobs as getting a project looks difficult as there are minimalist responses.

Hi all, I’m trying to transition to the insurance industry and begin as a claim adjuster. I have a virtual interview for progressive and a phone call interview with AAA coming up soon. Do you have any tips for me?

Hi fishes,

I'm looking for good opportunity,

I am having total experience of 9.1 years and 8 years in the Treasury. I am having 10LPA..

My key responsibilities are cash management, forecast, variance, Hedging, and investments, opening and closing of the bank accounts, bank reconciliation, handling customer, vendor, tax, and IC payments, audits, borrowings and handling bank KYC and AML issues.

Thank you.

CFP study programs:

I'm a little confused on Danko - does he offer a self-study option for the coursework requirement? On his website it looks like each module has a 4-day virtual class which I wouldn't be able to attend due to working full time. Does this program also include self-study material, and the classes are just supplementary/optional? I was also looking at Dalton for self-study and Danko for test prep. Thoughts?

TIA

Hi! I have been seriously applying for weeks upon weeks for a scrum master position/agile coach. But it’s hard getting an offer 😢

I'm currently completing a tax LLM (as a foreign trained lawyer) but considering pursuing a JD. I'd like to do it part-time while working. Which firm/service line gives me the best chance to do both? Also, is part-time Big4 work even a thing?

What do you think would be the best office & sector to work in ?

Given crazy market returns recently, do you still expect the market to rise at 10% over the next 30 years?

Does nokia blacklist people if they don't join?

What band does managing consultant belongs to and what is the pay range

So my fiancé and I are having a microwedding in Rocky Mountain National Park next year, and we’re working with an elopement planner.
She sent over a sample ceremony (intro, sweet poems + passages to be read, and example vows), and we read through it last night. I was reading it out loud while my fiancé made dinner, and it just hit me that this is really happening. I’m just really happy that I found someone who is willing to take a vow to spend his life with me and I’m so excited for that day :)

confession:i regret not prioritizing finding a good partner when i was in my college/early career years and envy those who did. it's harder now mid-senior career because you have less time and it actually requires you put time and effort into finding a good relationship

Financially entering the most expensive season of my life 🤦🏾‍♂️. Making the most bread in the family is all fun and games till you get those christmas lists! Not to mention flights to see family. Do y'all feel like being successful in finance changes the expectations family members have for you, especially during the holiday season?

Is it still worth buying Tesla stock? Especially after rising so much since year start?

I am moving to Charlotte, NC for a new job. I currently live in Portland, OR and have a single family home here. With my income, and current mortgage, I can afford a 350k house I’m Charlotte with about 10% down. What are the pros and cons of buying a new place in Charlotte and then sell my house in Portland?

Today is my orientation @EY GDS. Any recommendations that I should need to know!? Any questions that I should keep in focus!?

My DOJ is 21st March (today) - can someone reflect questions that I should ask first hand during the orientation!?

1. WFH status
2. Balance Payment for March!?
3.Pay Cycle?
4. Leave Policies?

Anything that really should be known which could come handy. Calling experienced folls but who can help me figure out on this one, please!

Thank you so much in advance.

Hi fihes, need some urgent advice. I have an offer letter from IBM but they had given me joining location of Kolkata and DOJ 1st November. I want my location to be changed to Bangalore. Can I ask HR? Do they entertain such requests or will they revoke the offer?

Hi all I am looking to move to europe any opportunity

What industries is the CFE certification used for? How does it compare to CPA in the length of the material and difficulty? Do most firms pay for It?

Mattress suggestions please! We are side sleepers and prefer firm mattresses in general. Most mattresses seem to offer 100+ days trial, but how has the return process been? We are worried that it might take a couple trials to find the most suitable one but not sure if the return process is as convenient and hassle free as all the websites claim.

Does anyone here work in the Middle East? I am seeking opportunities in the healthcare consulting space and would appreciate any leads.

Hi everyone,
I was hoping someone could give me some advice. I’ve been taking care of my extremely sick (literally on the verge of dying) dog. I work from home so it’s not too much of a nuisance but I feel distracted all day long and can hardly get anything done because I worry about my dog. I feel like I’d benefit from a day off or even half a day off but I’ve only been working for my firm for a month now, plus I have “discretionary time off.” Would it be okay for me to ask for a day off?

What's the size of TV that you use at your home?

Hi All,

This is Prasanna Kumar from India. I hope you are doing well :)
Myself and my wife are working in Infosys. She has got a project in Canada. She has raised a dependent Visa for me also in Canada.
If we go there, she will have a work assignment. But I won't have any work assignments in Canada.
My Canada Visa is already in progress. I am looking out for opportunities for Windchill in Canada.
If you can be able to help me with this, It would be a great help for us
Thanks

Rate squid games

What is an NFT?

How do deal with rude employees?

Hi, c aa n we move one TATA company group to other TATA company group..?

New year, new job, wish me luck!

Hi.. I am happy to join here. Seems to be an amazing platform.

How about the scope/ demand of mobile application testing.

Are there any onsite opportunities for data analysts / data scientists ?

My boss doesnt give any feedback about my work. How can I get him to give me better direction?

How many of you work directly with business clients (sales, marketing, R&D, supply chain etc. - essentially, non IT)?
Or is it the onshore business analyst who acts as a bridge between you and business?

Can anyone please share onsite package offered for Saudi Arabia in TCS (YOE - 8, Grade - C3A)?

I am working as a sde intern at a startup company.
They asked my account details for paying stipend.
I shared my savings account details.
Will they pay me in my savings account?
1 month and 4 days over not yet got the stipend.