Sellside chads - Drop your EBITDAmaxxing routine below. Here’s mine:
Early morning: Meditate and think about how my fees and margins absolutely mog buyside diligence
Morning: Work on a new Pro Forma QoE adj based on dubious assumptions that came to me in a dream last night.
Afternoon: Schedule-send new QoE with my creative PF adj to bankers at midnight to larp as a hard worker. Ask them to refresh model to see valuation impact and schedule 9am meeting to discuss - I know the analyst hates me.

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On Friday I wake up, decide to tell the QoE team I need their DB today, a week early from expected. Send them in a panic just for fun. Push them and tell them their pro formas aren’t strong enough.

Ignore their questions of when is invoice going to be paid.

Laugh my way into a Friday night

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Ah yes the veteran “Associate” with decades of deal experience lmao. Again why would we ask the bankers instead of management? You think management isn’t aware of the funds flow schedule?

EBITDA maxxing will be used next meeting with my MD

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lmao

Valuation model? Pretty sure they just multiply this shit by 10 and call it a day

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