So look, not trying to be a dick here, but legit, why do people who live in nyc always give off the vibe that they’re so proud of themselves? Like they’ve accomplishing something just by being there. I’ve lived in huge American cities before but never felt compelled to aggressively pat myself on the back just for signing an overpriced lease. It’s a great place and all, don’t get me wrong, no need to get defensive, but come oooooon, really? Just curios that’s all :)

Anytime someone starts a sentence with “not trying to be a dick, but...” or “not being rude but...”
99% of the time, yeah they’re about to do just that or insult you.

There is quite literally no other city that compares to NYC in the US. No matter what Chicagoans, SFers, or LAers tell you. It’s intense and competitive both professionally and personally, a financial success to be able to afford to live here, and to make it here means you have grit that many don’t.

We don’t think anything about you. There is so much happening that you really don’t enter our minds at all. What you are sensing is a reflection of your own perception of reality and the universe, subconsciously processing what it means to live in a “huge american city” and when you see a NYer, you are probably projecting what you think they are thinking. It’s kind of like that term BDE that was going around: This person seems normal but there’s something about him I can’t quite figure out. A powerful confidence and worldly presence. That’s what you gain from living here, squeezing onto the subway with 100s of people, living in 400sq ft, walking down the street to the Moma or the Lincoln center. It is not an American city, it is an international city.
Hope that helps. (Don’t get me started!)

I'm born and raised in NYC. I'll speak for most lifers and say, we really don't care about your opinion of us. The vast majority of us are proud to be a New Yawkers and don't speak ill of other cities. Speaking for myself, I've been nothing but super kind to visitors of my hometown. I'd love for everyone to see NYC through my eyes, but I've never been smug or looked down my nose at folks from other cities. We embrace everyone here. We're diverse and open-minded. I think the vibe you're feeling maybe something that you're projecting.

Because it sucks so it is a huge accomplishment to live there.

Trust me, you’re talking about the “New Yorkers” who probably will leave at some point if not already because of Covid. Pay them no mind.

The rest of us that actually love this city and have been here (long-time transplants and natives alike) don’t talk about NYC the way that you think we all do.

To the first group, NYC is a LiFeStYLe that is worth bragging about because it gets them fleeting credibility that they’re interesting. At some point they’ll “settle down” and move away.

They do this because the media and pop culture itself has built up a certain type of NYC lifestyle as glamorous, desirable, and worth striving for, until life catches up and they realize they don’t want to party anymore.

The rest of us realize that NYC is more than a second college experience and actually build lives here. We’re the ones you don’t hear from.

Never mind that huge swathes of this city are immigrants, live in poverty, just barely eking by and trust me, those people are the ones who absolutely deserve to be proud of making it in this city.

I lived in Manhattan for 11 years and grew up on the east coast, and I can understand both perspectives. For starters, nyc doesn’t hold the same “I’m going to impress friends back home if I live here” appeal for many East coasters. The friends I had in nyc from the Midwest were hands down the most obsessed about what it proved to their friends back home about them. That aside, the appeal of NYC is all about 1) exposure to diversity (cultures, languages, foods, music, environments, design, live experiences, film, anything) and 2) it brings together a likeminded bunch of people who are strivers. That means a lot of exceptional people: exceptionally talented, smart, creative, entrepreneurial or funny. Exceptionalism and freedom of choice breeds a mindset of superiority. But there’s a downside: those attributes are exhilarating when you’re young and single. But when you want to start narrowing your life by making big life decisions (a partner, children, home), New York can feel incredibly lonely and defeating because it’s hard to find others who want to make lasting choices with you and hard to afford the other choices. Those who stay are either wealthy enough to afford these choices, or, in the case of so many friends I know still there, they struggle with the loneliness of a life that didn’t turn out as they had hoped. A life that could have turned out differently had they left the allure of nyc earlier. It truly is a city where dreams are made and hearts are broken.

It’s an expensive, tough and unforgiving kind of place so living here is an accomplishment of sorts. (Lived in NYC for 10 years and while it’s a great place in many ways, it’s certainly not my favorite.)

Because for better or worse, there is no other place like it. It shapes you and changes you. You either learn to ride the wave or it will send you crashing.

I’ve had good years here. I’ve had bad ones. I wouldn’t trade either of them.

There’s a reason Sinatra wrote that “if you can make it there you’ll make it anywhere.” NY demands you not just be your best, but you be THE best. This is true of ad talent, legal talent, finance talent, medical talent, food talent, sports talent, and on and on and on. Other cities, for whatever reason, don’t have the same aspiration to be the best and expect the best as we do in NYC. We are America’s most optimistic city and never stop pushing everything forward. I routinely speak to people who have moved to other cities specifically for a low energy, slow paced life where quality matters less. In every case the ex-NYers who arrived before them were sure to tell them to slow down, do less, lower ambition and not work like a NYer because it would make everyone else look bad. The best or nothing else should really be the officially city motto. We just don’t have time for second best and so I’m shocked we have the time to discuss this with you.

NYC is a goal for a lot of people. Like A LOT of people. Maybe because so much music and tv and movies and culture lives in or comes from NYC, more than any other american city.

So when people finally realize that goal, they're proud.

Surely there's people who's goal is to move to LA or Austin or san fran. And they're likely as proud and vocal,.there's just less of them.

Also,.NYC is a big beast of a city. It can be lonely and hard and expensive, so if you make it and thrice, that's something to be proud of.

Blame Woody Allen.

I lived there for a bit and the worst part of it was the way NYC'ers can't even fathom why anyone wouldn't want to live there. They might not say that overtly, but there is a legit mentality that is very NYC centric.
Good city. Yes, it's an international powerhouse. But man, the attitude of many NYCers when it comes to the rest of the country is fairly insufferable.

Op sounds spiteful cause the city kicked his ass

I wanted to say it might just be the people you happen to know in NYC, but then I read the comments.

I moved to NYC for college and have stayed for 23 years. I love LA and would totally move there. SF is a pile of garbage with tech bro sprinkles.

What makes NYC special is the sheer density of very good to excellent stuff available to you, no matter what stuff you want: talent, opportunities, education, food, music, art, theater, bars, drugs, sex, whatever.

Some cities can beat NYC on one or two dimensions. No American city can compare *across the board*, or comes even remotely close.

Anyway, my wild estimate is that for every person who is proud of themselves simply for living in NYC, there’s another who acts proud to be here but is really afraid to leave, and there’s 3 more who are proud of their city because it’s a great fucking city, and just happy to be here.

It’s incredibly hard to afford living in NYC. It’s harder with kids. But my husband and
I are both native New Yorkers and we knew we had to raise our kids here. The most diverse swath of humanity lives here. We grew up around everyone under the sun and it made us who we are.

Ah Ha ha! My extended family lives in NYC and the surrounding areas so I totally know what you mean. I think as an outsider, it's easy to perceive the attitude of the city as one of haughty-ness, but really it's just the hardened approach to life because it's a much different beast to live in New York City. So when you have made strides in achieving your goal, in NYC, it just feels different so you are picking up on that sense of accomplishment. I don't blame you for your perception but once you've been immersed in it for a while, you might start to see it in a different light.

I mean let's be honest: you have egotistical a**hats in every city. NYC just happens to be very populated within a small radius so your chances of running into those personalities just increase there.

Come live here and find out

Someone’s jealous they don’t have a gig in New Yawk Citay! To survive here is the only reason. Most people don’t, it can ware one down and those people end up in these other Yuge cities.

Its just what rats do

I don’t see that happening. People act proud of themselves everywhere.

You aint a real new yorker until uve been mugged and/or beat at least 3 x times in this place

Hiya. Ex-New Yorker here. Just want to clarify that we don’t all have a superiority complex, think there’s no place better, or blindly believe that anyone who criticizes NYC “has obviously never lived there”. So many of these comments are cringe. Yikes.