So look, not trying to be a dick here, but legit, why do people who live in nyc always give off the vibe that they’re so proud of themselves? Like they’ve accomplishing something just by being there. I’ve lived in huge American cities before but never felt compelled to aggressively pat myself on the back just for signing an overpriced lease. It’s a great place and all, don’t get me wrong, no need to get defensive, but come oooooon, really? Just curios that’s all :)

Anytime someone starts a sentence with “not trying to be a dick, but...” or “not being rude but...”
99% of the time, yeah they’re about to do just that or insult you.

There is quite literally no other city that compares to NYC in the US. No matter what Chicagoans, SFers, or LAers tell you. It’s intense and competitive both professionally and personally, a financial success to be able to afford to live here, and to make it here means you have grit that many don’t.

We don’t think anything about you. There is so much happening that you really don’t enter our minds at all. What you are sensing is a reflection of your own perception of reality and the universe, subconsciously processing what it means to live in a “huge american city” and when you see a NYer, you are probably projecting what you think they are thinking. It’s kind of like that term BDE that was going around: This person seems normal but there’s something about him I can’t quite figure out. A powerful confidence and worldly presence. That’s what you gain from living here, squeezing onto the subway with 100s of people, living in 400sq ft, walking down the street to the Moma or the Lincoln center. It is not an American city, it is an international city.
Hope that helps. (Don’t get me started!)

Oh boy, it's like when people move to Berlin.

Congratulations you moved 👏🙄

Love to visit. So much energy. Amazing people. Love to leave.

I lived in ny and I agree with you OP. I had friends rolling eyes and judging me when I decided to leave like I was doing something really stupid. They raise their kids on a tiny condo and all they do is daycare and a stroll on prospect park. I got a house in the woods.

Love how this post brought the cringeworthy elite wannabe New Yorkers bragging about living in a 300sqft studio and going on about how "the city makes me" and "not everyone can handle it"

It doesnt show grit to survive living in one of the most amenable, first class cities in the world. Get over yourself.

Nyc has a toxic corporate culture

Having done my time in NYC and originally being from the west coast (and currently back on the west coast), there is no place in North America that compares to the daily grind of New York. Whether you love it or hate it, it is unique. The density of the city means there is never an off moment. There is always someone in your space, even if it’s simply the sound of a train creeping through the walls of your apartment. In the fleeting moments of tranquility in the park or on rooftop in the summer, you appreciate it more than ever. And since $30 seemingly leaves your wallet just by walking out the door, and the city stinks, and it’s snowing, or a downpour, or it’s 90 degrees and humid, it’s not arrogance. It’s simply someone who’s on the grind and in the game. They speak directly and honestly since they don’t have time for anything else. I miss it and know that I would never have stayed there longer than the 6 years I did, nor have any need to go back.

I❤️
NY

and everything that people have said on this thread has been made meaningless by Covid 19. NYC is dead and its not coming back. Cue the funeral music.

Living in NYC is like swinging 2 bats for practice. When living and working in NYC becomes normal to you, you can excel anywhere else easily.

Not sure if its a proud vibe or not, but I feel that those who do end up making to nyc come to the city for a purpose, and once everything falls into place and they reflect back on their journey they realize they have come a long way to get here. Some may have come from more modest backgrounds, and to be able to live and work in the city is an accomplishment in itself.

I love NYC. Sorry, I missed a chance to live and work there. You need to be on all of the time, that warrants a bit of ego and attitude.

It's impossible to have this conversation because OP and many of the replies are basing it on generalizations. Eg: "Why do people..." and "When you're there no place else exists." These are comments based on presumption ("this is my experience and all my friends' so it must be everybody's") and a insular experience ("I've met hundreds of people in the places I hang out! Hundreds!")

You don't need "grit" to survive here. I don't even know what is and I've lived here over 30 years. My wife was born here. Most people (eg: not the demographic that reads fishbowl) are just doing the best they can and don't have the option of seeking someplace else to live.

Even if you limit the discussion to people in advertising, the people who claim that they are special simply because they live in one particular city are just the loudest. The rest of us roll our eyes. The people who claim that "everyone" in a population does x or y are drawing conclusions based on what these loud idiots say. Don't waste your time and don't generalize. Get to know people out of your immediate circle and if they are jerks who say they are better than you because of where they live, move on and ignore them.

My heartfelt recommendation to everyone on this thread is that you spend some time with “Here is New York,” by E.B White. Please read it (it’s brief) and then come back with your reactions. It contains all of the answers and validation for so much of what we are discussing here. A quote from the essay: “A poem compresses much in a small space and adds music, thus heightening its meaning. The city is like poetry: it compresses all life, all races and breeds, into a small island and adds music and the accompaniment of internal engines. The island of Manhattan is without any doubt the greatest human concentrate on earth, the poem whose magic is comprehensible to millions of permanent residents but whose full meaning will always remain elusive.”

Just checking back to see whether we’ve reached a consensus here. No? Cool, carry on.

I think arrogance exists regardless of locale. Whether you laud yourself for making it in New York or making it in spite of never having gone there, you’re pointing to geography to feel better about yourself.

I’ve lived in tiny towns with like 5,000 people. I’ve lived in big towns. Small cities. Big cities. And NYC.

People in basically every single one of them thought they were living in the best city in America (for the small ones they just assumed it was the best kept secret).

Only difference is, for NYC there is some actual data that could back that up apart from simple civic pride, and national culture in general help confirm what we feel through movies and music.

No place is the best for everyone. What is good in a place to live is subjective. But NYC is incredibly unique. Specifically Manhattan. There are not together America cities like it. So if you live here, and that collection of urban features get you going, why would you not feel special for residing in a place you valued so highly?

As others have said, it helps to value certain things to make living here worth it. It’s not, smelly, cold, expensive, dirty, and cramped. But it’s also full of life and wonderful, vibrant people. The nightlife is second to none, the art, culture, you name it, and we have it. But at the end of the day, what do you want. The competition and grind is very real, and most of us live in old apartments with shitty appliances and no outdoor space. After a decade here, I think it’s time for me to move on because my priorities have changed. I imagined a lot of people feel the same.

Everyone on this thread needs to go watch Colin Quinn: New York City on Netflix right now. The answer is within 🗽
No seriously it is hilarious stand up

Hey here’s the west coast version of this post: https://joinfishbowl.com/post_rbifep

Stockholm syndrome