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I’m think only we can appreciate this thought.
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Congratulations on the promotion. I was in a similar position but it didn’t end up too well. I had to go back to IC role. camping here for thoughts too
Unfortunately you will need to (at a pace that you are comfortable with) distance yourself and make informal pings and communications that you used to frequently do not so frequent anymore. Your colleagues will understand that you can’t ping informally and etc. but hold your head high, treat your people right, make sure they know what is expected of them. They will appreciate that there are not any surprises and they will trust you have their best interest and the company’s goals aligned for everyone’s benefits. Use the rapport to your advantage. Foster that trust. The first round of performance reviews may be awkward but as long as you do it right your team will appreciate and respect what you are doing and implementing.
This. I would add that it’s all about resetting/setting expectations with them. Have an open, honest conversation with them about the change and what will (and what won’t) be different moving forward. They’ll appreciate the transparency and SHOULD understand and respect the boundaries.
Talk about bitter sweet. Firstly, awesome job on the promotion!
As for the situation at hand, are there other options? Is it possible the friend could be moved under a different manager but still be doing the same work? I was in this situation once, but on the other side. My very best friend got a promotion to where she would be my manager. We were (still are) very close, more like sisters and she is a designated auntie to my kids, so while it was awkward for me, I straight up told her that I didn’t want her to be my manager and immediately requested to be moved under someone else. Truthfully, she was a offended and her feelings were hurt, feeling like it would make her look bad to have someone wanting to move out from under her. I was a good worker so I wasn’t worried about getting in trouble for performance, but I didn’t like the idea of her being so entwined in my career to the point of knowing my metrics, my raises, my salary, having to ask her for permission to take time off, etc. It would have changed our whole friendship dynamic. So I moved to another manager, doing the same job and things worked out just fine for both of us. That was probably 7 or so years ago and I’ve since moved to another company, but we are still the very best of friends, talk and hang out regularly, and I still listen to all of her work problems that haven’t changed one bit since I worked there.
As for her, she did have to make some tough decisions about who she would accept friend requests from on social media, and who she hung out with outside of work or drank around. It probably took a couple years to rearrange those co-worker relationships and expectations.
Managing former peers is extremely hard for anyone. Is that the only choice the company had? Meaning having nothing to do with your promotion why wouldn’t they let you take over either a new team or a different team? Some background on that would be great.
However, what you have stated is nothing that’s not out of the ordinary. I did not experience this, but even when you come into a new team, you have to find the dynamic. Have you been a manager or leader before, do you have experience? If your new truly new to the role,you also probably want to get yourself a mentor and do a lot of research. Meaning figure out who you look up to in the company, see if they can mentor you, find out who you look up to in the business world and start reading them as well.
You have to have been doing something right in order to receive this promotion so great job.
Learn the skill to seperate your friendship with your professional life and the right approach to having these conversations will come naturally to you. Being in a managerial role, by no means, equates to being rude or difficult. With that filter on, why would it matter how you talk to your friend/colleague? You are only steering the ship for your friend in the right direction.. like any good manager should be able to.