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Very tough in FDD particularly for working moms. That’s why it’s male dominated. Hopefully you work somewhere that’s trying to retain you and helping it be more manageable for you. That fact that you’re dying isn’t good, but not shocking given how there are never enough managers anywhere and it’s a very very demanding role at least here.
I’m a Senior Director at a Big 4 with 2 kids. Before having kids my schedule was 9am - 7pm, then dinner, walk the dog, and back online by 8pm and would work until done for the day (typically between 10/11pm. Now with kids I actually take a longer break, typically log off by 5:30/6:00 and don’t get back online until 8:00/8:30, and work until 11pm. It’s way more exhausting now because we have two kids to take care of during the 2-hours of “downtime”. My wife works and she definitely takes a little bit more of the responsibility (her job is much less demanding and flexible), but whether you are a male or female…I’ve found this isn’t a long-term career option if you have kids and don’t want to be constantly burnt out.
What does this mean vs a daddy? I plan to be very active with everything. Maybe you just need your husband to step up or pay someone to do it
My wife is an attorney and we've never hired a nanny (but had grandma help once a week for 4 hours when our first was tiny).
I wasn't always a partner.
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I have survived almost 3 years as a mom while working in FDD. Yes it's possible, but you just have to sacrifice your sleep if you want to be a good employee and a good mom. Honestly I'm exhausted all the time, and not sure if I really want to do much longer. Feel free to DM if you want to talk more
Mommy vs daddy is not a tiny difference lol
Manager and early director years are tough, no way around it. There’s people with established teams and solid clients that have a great WLB, but I was never one of them. My hours averaged around 50-60 most weeks, with some really brutal weeks on larger deals. Hard part with manager is your rates are still low enough to carry a lot of the hours on a budget, so if your staff are struggling or you don’t have staff - you got to pick up the slack. Not sure if you’re a new manager or experienced - things do get better once you adapt to the role, but the hours ebb and flow based on whatever deal(s) you have going on.
I don’t have kids - did get a puppy during my first year of manager, was very little sleep for six months - as I worked around her schedule (working early morning and late at night to make up for parts of the day where she was awake and needed tiring out). Also would block off parts of my calendar to make it easier to put my head down and crunch through work when needed. Lastly - it helps to candidly but politely ask when things need to be done and when the director / MD will actually review. Easier to pull off with a baby - ppl understand parenting is tough with this job and should try and work with you when possible.
Puppies are no joke and sometimes more work than kids lol. Hopefully it was worth it. And totally understand about the rates being lower. Half the reason I’m busy is bc my staff doesn’t know wtf they’re doing. Not their fault just growing pains. I think if I had better seniors everything would flow a lot better and I’d be working less nights instead of cleaning up the mess.
FDD / TS generally isn’t a sound career path for those with kids. A couple of ways to make it work: 1) you are a partner / strong likelihood of making it so that your spouse can stay at home; 2) you go to a firm that has a slower pace and allow remote work; 3) have family nearby who can help with child care.
What are ur average weekly hours like? High and lows throughout the year?
What do you consider slow vs “picked up”. Like are you fluctuating between 40 and 60 hours per week depending on deal stage or are you averaging 55 across the year or what? Any numbers would help a lot