Totally not law related. Recently got married & noticed a lot of my close friends didn't get me and my spouse a card or gift. Said friends are in big law & I know them well enough to know they are very comfortable. Friends & fam who are late 30s+ all got us thoughtful cards & money (we didn't have a registry). Most of those early 30s/late 20s gave no card & the few that gave a gift did it through Venmo days later. I find it odd and just noticed such a difference with age groups. Thoughts?

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I (39F) venmo for the wedding and don't do a card. I will buy off the registry if there is one.

I hate buying cards. Not aure why, but I do.

I also have definitely done it months after the wedding knowing "legally" I have a year.

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I think it's becoming common not to come to the wedding with anything. Registries now have the option to ship to the recipients' home directly. And when there isn't a registry, often bride/grooms set something up on their website to contribute to their home improvement fund or honeymoon fund. It's all done online. This is attractive because it can be annoying to haul large gifts to the ceremony or reception and its even more annoying for the bride and groom to have to load the car at the end of the night. Personally, I always do the gift, whether its registry or "cash" prior to the actually attending the wedding and I almost always forget to get a card for the day of because the gift was checked off my mental list and also I send a note with the gift.

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Thats a great prank! And clever!

(1) were they all invited to the wedding, (2) did they attend, and (2) was there a wedding registry?

If the answer is yes, yes, and yes, then that’s definitely odd. (F36)

(Technically people have a year to give a gift but I doubt that’s what’s happening here)

ETA: I see you didn’t have a registry. If you didn’t have a registry then I don’t think it’s that odd to Venmo money.

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No shame in feeling upset. An invitation demands at least a card and a gift in my opinion.

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To add, just curious if there's a generational difference with how guests approach wedding gifts/etiquette? If it matters, not a destination wedding. Local wedding.

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I’m 31 but got married in 2020 so I was mid-20’s at the time, but we got gifts and/or cash from pretty much all of our attendees, including my broke mid-20’s friends and my wife’s even-broker early 20’s immigrant friends. We did have a registry though and we had just moved into our first apartment together so people got tons of apartment stuff for us as wedding gifts.

Personally, I always gift off the registry and give cash/zelle/venmo.

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Literally it’s me and I forgot because my whole life is stress and just getting to your wedding took 100% of the brain power I had to allocate to our friendship for the quarter

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That’s no excuse for not getting the couple a gift - this is just self-absorption masquerading as busyness.

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