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Thanks for setting this up!
Are there any other Coasties here?
Hi, I'm leaving Citi in 2 months.It's hard to make this decision. I have an offer from a small startup.In citi, my previous experience was not considered and was reskilled to different tech which is the reason for change.I don't like to exit citi. As I like the company so much.But considering my current knowledge,I am in the middle of the sea.I am afraid now that the new company's offer would be revoked due to this recession?Or can I take back my resignation in citi before the last working day.Is this wise decision?
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Early 30s, Female, Texas. Indian Ethnicity. HMU!
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Where them 30+ ladies at? 25M 🙋♂️😉
Any houston folks here?
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Personally (34 M) it’s the struggle of do I want to just have a DINK life, potentially be an older parent, and the combo of there are a lot of women I meet that already have 1+ kids and is that something that I would want to add to or that they want to add to. And if they do or don’t is that a deal breaker?. I know it’s not a great answer but these are the things I personally think about. I’m not the person so set on kids that I think I would let an amazing person get away just because they do or don’t want them as well. It may sound indecisive to some, but for me it’s more of a go with the flow vibe that I have regarding this topic and I don’t NEED to choose either way right now.
Yeah understood. I guess I’m flexible either way and wouldn’t let either way interrupt a wonderful relationship.
When I was in my 30s I was pretty sure I did not want kids based on my personal background and what affected me as a child. Now that I am in my 40s, I am more open to it after my personal growth. But age may be not on my side so “unsure”. So, it’s the reverse from what you are asking but a perspective.
I’ve always been “unsure” about kids but the older I get (35), the more “sure” I become as I realize I’ve never had this urge to have children. Personally, because having or not having children is such a life-changing decision, I have felt unable to know with certainty one way or the other. With therapy/maturing/reflection, I’m feeling more and more certain I won’t have kids. It’s still a scary thought because of the “what-ifs”. (This is not to say some men out there are doing it to bait more women on apps).
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Ah, got it! Thank you. That makes sense.
I’m a woman and I feel this way too (as do many women) - it’s not just a guy thing to be unsure about having kids.
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LC1 - this is so fascinating because I have the exact same thought process as your first 1.5 paragraphs and for those exact reasons, I’ve adopted the ‘I don’t want kids’ stance. It’s the unspoken reasons I don’t want kids, not the “socially acceptable” reasons. A 50/50 partner is a needle in a haystack.
So interesting how similar we are, but we communicate our views differently.
I never had a strong desire to have kids but it wasn’t a flat out no. Having a suitable partner was more #1 for me to even consider having them. TBH, I think this is a good condition to have and not just have kids without this consideration. I believe our partners, families and environment is so important in the raising of a child. The problem is that it seems so tough these days.
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110%. If all of that is not there, you can forget having kids. I think many people forget to think about this, as well as how the world will look for these kids (eg: climate chaos).
I see this in womens profiles constantly too.
If you’re that old and unsure I’m assuming it’s a no but don’t want to scare away potential with a flat out “no”
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This is so silly because it’s wasting everyone’s time, including their own.
Interesting to hear you see this as well
I have never had a burning desire to have kids. So my having kids is very situationally dependent
It’s normal. For some people kids are not a must so if they vibe with the person they will; otherwise not.
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That’s a pretty big thing to be lackadaisical about. That’s what I don’t get. The trajectory of your life will be SO different based on which you pick so by 30+ shouldn’t you be rather certain?
It’s too expensive to raise children at the moment.
There is the fear of divorce and losing out financially.
I had children when raising children was less expensive.
When I divorced, I was homeless, my ex had a house, it took me 10 years to dig myself out of that financial hole.
I can understand why men are not committing to having children.
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