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Finally, lunchtime. For Hispanic Heritage Month, they’ve catered in a taco lunch for everyone. I hope they aren’t too spicy!
Finally, I arrive at my office and find a seat. I don’t have a desk and I get there early so I can have a seat, because my holding company found some savings in open seating, which meant there aren’t enough spots for everyone to work. If I’m late, I sit at a tall stool in a common kitchen area shared by three other agencies. Corporate greed isn’t my business. I’m not political.
In my first meeting, the account supervisor voices concern about traveling to a strategy session. Our client’s headquarters are in a state that has strict reproductive laws. She’s expecting a baby and has already had some complications, so she’s worried about something happening in a place that would let her die if anything went wrong. Honestly, TMI. I’m not political.
At last, the workday is done. I login to Fishbowl, my favorite app for anonymously discussing salaries and talking poorly about new work in the world that I’m mad I didn’t get to make. It’s the final frontier of spaces without politics.
I swing by my producer pal’s desk to shoot the breeze except he’s not in the mood today. Claims he’s stressed that his marriage to his husband of eight years might not be recognized by the government soon. I tell him to not worry about it and just focus on work, it’s the best distraction!
Finally, a couple hours without meetings to get some brainstorming done. I’m the best at this. A few people in high school told me it should have been me who was voted class clown, so I’ve known advertising was the career path for me from a young age. I bring this unfettered wit to every banner ad for heart disease medication thrown my way.
McSweeneys was right to reject this
I would never submit to them. Rejection from a publication I admire would confirm my fear that I don’t have anything unique to offer, and then how would I justify being mean to junior creatives?
Next up, I attend a project briefing. Our strategist drones on and on about insights pulled from extensive research about how women feel pressure to make the holidays perfect. I don’t know anything about that, my wife does everything, but I’ll take their word for it. At the end of the day, fruity cereal DOES offer little moments of happiness in between all the extra shifts for money to buy your kids presents. I daydream about accepting my award for this work in France.
After lunch I sit with the social team to go over ideas for brand activations. My favorite idea is a partnership with one of the actors from Abbott Elementary: a show about the struggles of teachers in the public school system, making things work despite urban schools being obscenely underfunded. I don’t watch it, because my only frame of reference for humor is Arrested Development, but I’ve heard other people like it. Nothing political to see here!
But, pRiTsKeR SuCks!!!
The taxes on my single family home in Roscoe Village are about to skyrocket!!
🤣🤣🤣