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Diagnosed in my late 30s and have been mostly unmedicated but am actually about to start up on a low dose again. I have a really hard time getting anything done unless I’m in a heightened state of anxiety/fear of failure or getting in trouble, which means that I performed very well in school and stressful work environments. And yes, it was a constant cycle of procrastination and then jamming out studying or work at the last minute. Unfortunately I got good results that way, which reinforced the behavior, but it is no way to live. Ironically, now that I’m in a healthy and chill work environment, I’m struggling to get my work done!
ADHD can often be mistaken for anxiety in women. I started adderall a year or so ago and it’s been a completely turnaround for me. I’m on a low dose. But I was regularly working till midnight till bill like 7 hours because I’d get so distracted and just like, do nothing
I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 41. I'm medicated, but I'm on a stimulant. It's changed my life. I definitely achieved without it, including earning a degree from a competitive law school. But, medication makes life so much easier. There's really no harm in trying it to see if it helps you.
I wonder if these doctors get some kind of reward for every prescription…I mean the way you’re explaining it doesn’t give me reason to believe why you need to be on the suggested medication.
Your story is very similar to mine. When I first started my mental health journey, (in addition to ADHD) I was having pretty severe anxiety and panic attacks. I was also terrified of being medicated. I started seeing a very holistic and understanding therapist. My mental health got MUCH better through more natural methods. Once I felt pretty good about where I was without the meds, I honestly felt better about trying to introduce the meds because I felt like I could better gauge how much of an impact it was having, since I started from a better place. We started slow and I am 100% sure that it was the right path. If you start from a place where you don’t *need* it, you can better gauge whether it’s a value add for you IMO.
I am also a high achieving woman with multiple family members with diagnosed ADHD, so I’m going to be blunt with you. ADHD is a developmental disorder. Which you know if you have relatives with it. It’s highly unlikely that in a household with two diagnosed individuals you slipped through the cracks and just so happened to be a high achiever all the way to age 35.
If you made it this far in life without taking stimulants you do not need them. You likely have anxiety or depression like you originally thought, both can cause problems focusing.
Vyvanse, and other ADHD stimulants, can cause serious side effects like psychosis. I know, because my brother, who was diagnosed as a child, tried to murder his wife in a Adderall fueled psychotic break two years ago.
My advice is to get a different psychiatrist. This one is irresponsible.
I’ll add that lawyering is nearly all executive function. I know late diagnosed women with ADHD who are lawyers. They were all diagnosed long before 35. Law firm life is incompatible with untreated ADHD. OP would not be a high achiever, she’d have washed out as a junior.
It’s far more likely that she’s got exactly what she thought she had, depression and anxiety. Both of which can cause problems with procrastination and both of which are exceedingly common with high stress jobs like law.
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I’m v surprised with the Vyvanse rec before Wellbutrin.
Pro
I am similarly aged. I recently discovered the lawyers with ADHD bowl and have been checking out posts there. I'm not sure what I have, I oscillate between self diagnosis of ADD and C-PTSD. Good info! I've started following IG pages, too.
Just curious- how does ADHD present in the practice of law? Like, if you were to sit down to do a task, what happens?
Inability to focus on a task. So, email notifications, people walking by, someone on the phone in the next office just pulls your attention.
Task transition is a big one for me. It can be difficult to start on "the next thing" once I finish something. Simply deciding what the next thing should be is also hard. Lists help.
Hyperfocus is really nice for research and document review. But the flip side is that it can be extremely frustrating if someone interrupts your focus and it can affect your mood. Also, I often forget to eat, drink, or use the restroom.
ADHD people are dopamine deficient. This means that we are always looking for that stimulation and reward. So, it's really hard to work on a task that's uninteresting and boring. It's also common to pick up our phones and scroll social media for that quick fix of stimulation.