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If you feel like that they would be surprised that you asked, I personally wouldn't ask them. Bridesmaid should be women who you have a deep bond with
“Surprised I was asked” was an extreme reaction, i just wrote that to show that they’re somewhere within that border. I’d guess that they’re closer to the “offended I wasn’t asked” or “neutral” side.
This might be a unpopular opinion, but weddings are so much more fun when you’re not a bridesmaid. (6:30am hair and makeup appointments, on your feet in heels for 13+ hours. Paying for a dress you’ll never wear again. No thank you.)
IMHO If you invite them to the bachelorette but don’t make them a bridesmaid, you’re doing them a favor. They get the best of both worlds.
Ooohhh I'm glad you posted this. I am in the same boat. I have 5 guaranteed bridesmaid and 1 that I feel like I am close enough to ask her but we are not as close as the rest of my bridesmaid so I don't want her to feel left out
Rising Star
I would ask but give them the option to opt out. Being a bridesmaid is a lot of work, especially if they aren’t your bestie, so I think it’s nice to give the option.
I would say if you’re fine with them being a bridesmaid you should ask them especially if they’ll get along with the other bridesmaids. If not don’t. Ultimately they’re already spending the money to go and it’s good to avoid hurt feelings and it doesn’t cost you anything to include them if they don’t disrupt you or your other bridesmaid I say go for it.
A destination wedding, how fun! I'd say if they're willing to spend the $$, there's a guarantee they want to be there for you and contribute to your big day. One wedding planner once told me 'If she walks and talks like a bridesmaid, then call her a bridesmaid' - meaning if they're a bridesmaid, treat them like one! What's worked well for my friends in this situation is having open communication, including the entire bridal party, and showing appreciation whenever possible!
Have you already asked and these were their reactions or were are you thinking about asking them?
I haven’t asked yet. Thinking of their reactions
Agreed with the above. If they are surprised to be asked, I'm not sure they would be so happy to spend thousands to be apart of the bridal party
They’re not spending a cent. I’ve no bridesmaid tasks, bridal shower, nor bachelorette party. And I’d cover their dresses. It’s actually a very informal “bridesmaid” situation as we’re just doing the photos and ceremony.
Perhaps this detail may make a difference to the answer to my question.
How many bridesmaid do you want to have? Is there a particular number to match the groomsmen?
Ehhh I'm dealing with this with choosing my maid of honor. I have three best friends. I have an idea of who I want to choose but I feel like the other two will be upset
What if you didn’t have any maid of honor or best man - just the wedding party?
I'd say err on the side of caution specifically because it is a destination wedding. That's a big ask for someone that is on the line. Just put yourself in their shoes. If you were asked to be a BM for someone at a destination wedding, can you think of a million other things you'd rather do with that cash? I'd only ask the ones that fall into the "wouldn't miss it for the world" category personally.
They’re already confirmed to attend (flights and hotels booked). No other expenses related to being bridesmaid (no bridal party, no bachelorette, and I’ll cover the dress). Side note - both have said the same phrase “wouldn’t miss it for the world”, if that’s a sign 😂.