Dear fishes ( specially new/ toddler mom)

In current scenario where workload had increased to it's peak impacting mental healtj as well as pysical health now it's tough to survive.. how are you navigating? Ever thought of leaving job?

I am planning to take career break but afraid what if return to work doesn't happen considering AI n current job market..
N even my spouse is not letting me leave thinking about his job security 😒

Anyone in the same boat?

We need better benefits for child care in America, period. We’re the richest country, we’re giving the ultra wealthy 3.4 T in tax cut; but we can’t afford a decent ‘family first’ policy? Women should have a year paid leave w a basic or standard salary for that year pd for by the federal govt. I don’t know why this is even an issue, ppl are having no kids or fewer kids as it is. We need a 2nd ‘New Deal’ in this country and reprioritize

My kids are grown but we really struggled. I think me and my husband would both admit that it about ruined our marriage, he cared for the babies and got them to school, went to the doctor w them/etc; . We worked different shifts so when I came home, I had 3 growing boys to deal with…it was not easy for either of us. We made it 35 years.

Our govt can /must do better for pregnant women and new parents.

Yes. Same boat. I am in India and you cant survive with one salary here. So dragging as much as possible. Trying to learn how to be okay with being mediocre or below average at work.

Same boat. In the US and similar requirement for dual income with childcare costs. I’ve considered leaving but I’m the larger earner and my gap is too big to fill with just keeping kids at home.

My advice:
- build your safety net and stick it out as long as you can. With layoffs, maybe you can get a severance package instead of leaving on your own.
- set solid boundaries and communicate with your team. Some PPMDs/SMs are realistic to the idea of having a life outside work, hopefully you have one of these.
- work from home when you can. The difference that 5min to switch laundry or cut vegetables is huge. Others may be spending it getting water/coffee/tea or a bathroom or smoke break so don’t feel you can’t use the time for home things.
- be intentional on which meetings you join and which tasks you delegate. You become very aware of where your needed most when you don’t have the luxury to do things to be nice or extra helpful.
- reset/reconfirm your priorities often. If your boss asks you for something that will stretch your capacity, ask what should shift to meet their deadline. If you need a moment, ask yourself “what do I need right now?” and go do that thing (big help for mental health for me)
- outsource what you can. The benefit of a monthly cleaners is probably the best money I spend each month

Good luck, I’m sorry it’s overwhelming. It’s also temporary, if that helps too!

In the meantime look for a new job there’s always the hope of better WLB at a diff agency or on a diff account.

Not the exact same situation, but I have been thinking about taking a career break myself. I just had my 2nd son 2-month ago, my first LO is 3yo. Have about 20days left of maternity leave and I'm dreading going back. I've talked to my husband about it, but he's about to run out of unemployment money come December of the doesn't find work soon. He was let go from his consulting job back in June. The cost of daycare is RIDICULOUS and I would love to be able to stay home with the new baby for a while longer, but the entire family is depending on me at the moment.

I thought about it every day for about 5 years when I was in the trenches of newborn baby and toddlerhood. But I’m glad I powered through and didn’t quit. Everyone’s path is different though, and it is so, so hard. I had to give up a lot, and I didn’t seek any upward trajectory in my career during that time. I put some boundaries in place that stabilized my job where possible and allowed me to figure out how to be a mom. It completely shifts your identity and forces you to prioritize.

EY1 has some awesome tips.

I feel this post! My spouse and I tried many arrangements. We both worked very demanding jobs. Then I stayed home for a year and he stayed at his job. Then I went back to work and he stayed home for a year. Now he works a very rewarding job and I just work a mediocre job - this works. We had to make a lot of sacrifices, but is was well worth it (lawn care, housekeeper, etc.) Honestly it’s just about finding whatever works for your family! It’s so hard to find what works, but you’ll know it when you find it.

Is it realistic for you to be able to take a few years off from work? Does your spouse have an income that could support the family, and do you have savings that could keep the family afloat for a year or so in case he gets laid off? I feel fortunate to have both, so I left the workforce as working my corporate industry job and being a present mom was not sustainable long term, and I am so much happier

Not sure if this is a route you want to take, but you can apply for family leave (FMLA) to reset and think about your priorities. Its unpaid but i believe your job is protected (but check for yourself if interested) and it would give you 3-4 months to think things over and mentally get a break