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You need to get into therapy fast! It sounds like you are depressed and/or Ina major slump. Mental health is important and if you are depressed it will affect your whole life. Use your insurance to get help. Grow therapy is great.. Now, nobody is perfect you once were great now in a slump, and your boss yelling you he lost confidenceand not any particulars as to why..is mean... Work on yourself and say affirmations to yourself everyday. Pray to take away fear...and please get yourself well.
Mentor
A good boss or manager wouldn’t make you feel this way. They can be disappointed but it really shouldn’t be such a big deal. I think it’s time for you to realize the good you’ve done and you’re still great at what you do and move on. You don’t owe them anything.
My boss doesn’t. All my boss told me is they are loosing confidence in me and that set off in me a whirlwind of emotions, fear, dread, intimidation, lack of self confidence and I started messing up. It was like an avalanche came over me and knocked me off my feet. Now, 5 months later, I am a mess. I thought I was coming back up but it’s too late, the boss is hiring someone else. There have been 2-3 interviews. I feel rotten to the core and defeated. I am constantly trying to get my self up out of this funk but when I just get to thinking I am doing better something comes a long and slaps me right back down. I feel like a yo-yo and I am very frustrated with myself and how I let the boss down.
Maybe I am NOT cut out for this anymore. It all started when a came back from a tiny mini vacation back in June. That is where I can pinpoint it. I do not know what happened to me, I do want to do better for my boss, but, is it too late? Possibly. There are interviews in place and MANY MANY more qualified people than me. I am thinking maybe I should give up and quit while I am ahead. I love my boss and the other employee there. But, if I am a hindrance to the the growth of the firm (which I desire to be a part of) what is the use in being there? I came with hopes and dreams of growing to be the best paralegal there ever. I have let my boss down greatly, myself, and my family who were once so proud of me. I have spoken with a friend of mine who is an attorney (and another VERY godly woman), she stated I am too isolated, I need to be around more seasonal paralegals. I take her advice to heart. I am trying to find a seasonal paralegal who will teach me how to do better, and weather this storm, IF I GET TO KEEP MY JOB, and pay this paralegal for her time, effort, lessons, however, I am NOT finding any (I KNOW we all have lives and are tired at the end of the day). School might be another option but I stopped going to college for a a year now almost 2 because by the time I get home, I am wore out from the worry, and fear. Another thing is, I am hard of hearing and I literally have grown completely angry with myself on phone!! I struggle to hear our clients and that bothers me too, along with, I have to get up from my chair to hear what my boss says, and this embarrasses me, my new hearing aids have been an issue. I have lost confidence in my hearing ability which just adds straight to my frustration of myself. The young gal there, she is super smart, super intelligent, and catches on quickly, that is intimidating. But I am so super happy for this young woman. Just greatly disappointed within myself, about myself, and almost ready to throw in the towel because I have been such a huge disappointment to the office. I have only been there for 16 months. What is wrong me?!! I have to relearn to draft, pleadings, I had been so intimidated and fearful even the simplest Motion I have done wrong and had to redo it. Needless to say, I am fed up with myself. And do not know if I should just walk away and never look back and start something different. But I don’t get any enjoyment out of anything else as far as work life. This might be funny to some, but, Maybe just maybe, I should through in the towel and save other attorneys the frustration of me. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to improve quickly and stay on top? I can’t stand my failures.