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At least you have no kids and the alimony is only 12 months. You’ll be able to truly move on. My dad paid alimony and child support to my mom (rightly in that case) for decades.
I’m sure she provided some value to the relationship, which enabled you to continue to thrive at your career. I have to imagine that was factored into the decision
Nope, she was an alcoholic and I had to hire a housekeeper to keep the house bc she spent more time at home rather than traveling. We have no kids, we don’t even have a dog, and our HOA takes care of all maintenance. This argument might exist if a woman takes a lesser job to care for children or help put someone through law school but that’s not relevant here.
This is why prenups exist
This is why you fuck around and never get married. Never give in to 'waiting to be married' types
Rising Star
Agree, divorce payouts are unfair. In my circle, it’s mostly men who left decent jobs to pursue their unpaid dreams, leaving their wives to support the family, and then the wife had to pay off the dud like you (one w $500k) to be free of him. The problem is state laws that don’t take into consideration who contributed/ didn’t contribute in the marriage.
To be fair, MC2, your phrasing of “Men pay alimony in 97% of instances.” could be tightened up for clarity. Perhaps, “When alimony is awarded, 97% of the time the man is ordered to pay the woman.”
I count myself lucky that my ex-husband didn’t think of alimony, but he did get the better side of the split.
Pro
How would she tell the story?
But how’s that your fault that she took time off work though when it was her decision and it benefited her? Also, the fact that she didn’t save anything with all the money she was making but now coming after what you saved in spite of you also supporting you both is quite despicable.
Chief
However much you paid your attorney was too much since they did a lousy job negotiating a settlement.
Doesn’t she have any shame or sense of right and wrong? Why is she even requesting anything knowing you’ve been supporting her and SHE cheated?
Unreal
It’s because American men are weak compared to their women.
What TF is the misandry in this
Settlement pretty much tracks with the law in a lot of places
No fault divorce so do did what to whom doesn’t matter
Marital assets - anything acquired or increased in value during the marriage - split 50/50
One year of alimony for her to get back into the workforce and support herself
Be glad you didn’t have kids with this person if she’s as bad as you say
My best friend went through almost this exact same scenario a decade ago. The good news is he found someone much better and is in a much healthier marriage today
The justice system doesn’t try to be fair for individual divorce cases. It tries to be broadly fair. We decided expediting divorces is more important and fair than assigning blame. For arguments sake let’s say you were also cheating on your wife but you were better at it than she was so she can’t prove it, would it be fair that you get everything? We have decided that the best thing to do is say divorce is nobody’s fault and have each person go their separate way. Each state has some general rules for determining alimony and how to split assets. You either agree to it or spend some money on lawyers to move the needle a bit in your favor.
How is that possible? It’s insane that Alimony should not a be thing. So sorry man
Serves you right for getting married
Unfortunate but grand scheme of things you made out okay
More important is that you blast her publicly for they cheating before she can control the narrative. No doubt she will try to spin it to all the friends and family. But Im of the opinion that cheaters should never prosper and should be publicly shamed for it
Get yourself a good therapist to work on the impact of her breaking your trust. Therapist will also help you recognize that this final phase of your relationship is merely a business transaction and frankly is EASY. Be thankful that you didn’t have kids because that monthly child support goes on forever with zero control over how the money is spent and you would be constantly tethered in a co-parenting relationship. You are paying severance for a year, it will go super fast.
And when she tries to weasel her way back after her other “fling” falls apart you will be in a great spot to graciously say, “good luck in the future, I’m good.”
Yeah that does not sound fair at all considering she could work and SHE CHOOSE not to and it’s not like you can drag her to work. She’s pretty much reaping the benefit of your hard work and obviously had too much time she didn’t know what to do with it but to go cheat. I’m a woman and I feel bad for men that are faithful and kind that go through things like this. I hope this does not change your outlook on life and love. Also 2020 feels like just yesterday…..
I’m seeing this as she had a better attorney than you did.