Having trouble understanding my friends predicament. She looks like a super model but thinks she's not attractive. She got her graduate degree from a top university but because her sister got hers from an ivy league school she thinks shes the black sheep. She makes very little money but her parents bought her a home and car so she's safe. Shes very easy to talk to and everyone likes her. Why doesn't she know this and why is she unable to find a job?

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Low self esteem is wild. Some of the most successful and attractive people I know are also the most insecure.

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What is ironic is that even you as a friend are judging someone who struggles with self-esteem and assuming they have it all and should feel safe. Sounds like she is surrounded by people who overlook what is probably a deeply rooted mental health issue that she struggles with daily and is denied support due to superficial factors.

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Also she has probably been objectified all her life by people who only care about her superficial looks. It gets old and annoying, and you learned just how shallow most people actually are and most people want people to like them and respect them for their knowledge at least I do she could’ve been abused and mind brokenanything low self-esteem is wild and it’s broke. Kinda hard to get it back. Just be supportive be the one that cares about her personality and her traits not her looks and what she can do and accomplish get to know her.

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Cognitive distortions (and other mental health concerns) can seriously mess up our world view.

https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/cognitive-distortions

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What is the impact of her cognitive distortions on you? If you’re concerned about her, you want to help, nudging into therapy may be a good idea to get help for your friend if they are ready to move forward.

Well low self-esteem and an inability to secure a job are two different things. Looks don’t entitle someone to a job, but also, depending on what the graduate degree was in it might not be worth much…lots of Ivys bank on name recognition for expensive cash cow programs.

Pretty ppl who are shy are often seen as stuck up. Also, pretty ppl don’t necessarily see that in themselves or think of themselves by similar standards. Lastly, pretty ppl lalso have internal woes like everyone else.

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