How do you survive a manager who keeps saying things like “I was working on this at midnight, no pressure though”? …Ma'am the “no pressure” part is definitely pressure. I need to set boundaries without looking lazy.

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This is 100% on them, not on you. If they want to let work dominate their free time, that's their prerogative. As long as you're getting your work done and meeting deadlines, you're not being lazy at all. Don't convince yourself otherwise.

I’d feel sorry for them and the lack of ability in time management. I would let them know your working hours and what you can realistically get done in that time.

I don’t think you choosing to not work at midnight is lazy. Your own manager needs boundaries but I would set them initially so they never expect that out of me

I’d just keep trucking and start looking around for a new position. That’s a toxic manager. If you are exempt from overtime don’t give the company free work.

A snarky response is: “do we need to assess the teams FTE count? If you’re working past office hours we may need headcount or you may need to prioritize your tasks better.”

If you work more than 40 hours (technically federally it says 30) that’s working over a FTE.

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