How much salary does it take to raise a family with a stay at home wife and 2 kids going to private schools?

Reason why I’m asking: my peer who has the same scope as me is like that. My total package is $200K, and I suspect his salary is way higher than me, despite we have the same scope.

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Your peer has another source of income. The total comp to do what you describe, assuming a mortgage is also included, is probably north of 500k. Maybe over 700k if the family is also trying to save for retirement, go on vacations, etc.

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Easy answer: family money.

My kid goes to one of the fancy K-8 private schools in pac heights (~$45k/yr) At least two classmates have told my daughter that their grandparents pay.

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Private schools in SF alone are like 40-50k (per kid) a year. He's got to be at 600k at least if he owns a place in the city and has a retirement set up. Unless he is a trust fund kid, I would assume he is definitely making a lot more than you

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You cannot assume anything about your coworkers’s salary based on your perception of their lifestyle. For all you know the coworker is drowning in debt, inherited a huge amount of money, or won the lottery.

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People have family money and help.

Price it out.

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Just breakout out an excel spreadsheet and game it out. Agree it's mid six figures at this point unless you live out in the suburbs.

Closer to 3x that in the city depending on your housing situation. A lot easier to reduce costs vs increase income from a single earner… public school and/or burbs

You’d need a combined or single income at close to ~500-600 to maintain that lifestyle at a minimum especially for 2 kids going to private school.

Time on the job and career transitions matter a lot in the Bay Area. The difference between waiting 1 year to buy a home can mean 50% higher mortgage payments. Some private schools offer scholarships for certain tax brackets so depending on career prospects for spouse, getting a job may negate any savings. My family could certainly swing that salary with 4 kids in private school- albeit in the east bay.
Maybe focus less on analyzing their lifestyle and more on finding out what the comp range is for your role.

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