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Fire 50,000 US based employees claiming AI made them redundant, hire 75,000 employees in India to replace them
I’m pretty sure when Walgreens hires McKinsey, they get a team of 28-year-old consultants — freshly minted MBAs who’ve never worked retail, never managed a team, and think “inventory” is just a tab in Excel.
These bright-eyed efficiency wizards roll in with a 200-slide PowerPoint and declare with absolute confidence:
"You can unlock $5 billion in savings by increasing store staff KPIs by 500%, while cutting headcount by 70%."
Naturally, the Walgreens C-suite — always eager to impress the board with bold, data-driven nonsense — approves the plan on the spot.
Six months later:
Actual efficiency gains: $50 million
Payment to McKinsey: $10 million
Legal fees to crush labor lawsuits and PR fires: $20 million
Executive bonuses for “delivering strategic transformation”: $20 million
Meanwhile, stores are so understaffed that a single pharmacist is juggling prescriptions, the register, the vaccine fridge, and fifty angry customers, mostly elderly, waiting in line for 3 hours.
But don’t worry — the PowerPoint got updated to say “Phase One: Success.”
Sometimes it’s hard to just get the PPT updated with success.