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I hate them too, and I’m an extrovert and a partner.
When I was more junior, I sometimes left in the middle of team dinners to finish work.
This thread is depressing. People acting like it's still the 80s. Lol. "A firm handshake and a good joke and you'll be a partner in no time!" This industry has been cannibalizing itself and imploding for decades. Don't kill yourself for this career. There's better ones to do it for at this point.
lol spot on
Once I became a manger, I enforce the rule that nobody works after a team dinner. In some cases we had to reschedule the dinner. But I’d rather that over having the team work extremely late. Best practice is to schedule it the day of a big deliverable (e.g., steerco)
I was lucky to have a manager that thought this way and I learned from him
And to head back to the hotel after all that wine and food and talking to open your laptop and be productive past midnight, literally one of the worst parts of the job. Especially since it feels like something we should be able to control with better team norms? This isn’t a client dinner or client deliverable, surely we can find a better way as a team to connect and balance fun??
For what it’s worth I hate them too. And I’m an extrovert lol
If you have work to do then eat, chit chat a bit then excuse yourself.
You're welcome to find another type of career. This is just how it goes.
Our team dinners do not compare to Big 4. Big 4 is cutthroat. I remember and do not envy you. Fwiw lean into them and maximize partner time.
Free dinners are a perk of the job. But there is no shame in saying I have allot of work to do tonight.
Never a problem for me because I never do work at night. I’m not a slave and u don’t get paid enough
Pick and choose wisely. Maybe skip the first one and do the 2nd so the last memory is of you attending a dinner. If they ask why you didnt attend the first..assuming youre using that time to work, just say that and plan to briefly and clearly communicate what you accomplished with that extra time to help move the project forward. As a Partner, I'd respect that.
As a partner, if you’re only on site periodically, you feel obligated to take the team to dinner, both to reward them for all their effort and to spend time with them outside of just work. The problem, like you pointed out, is these dinners can go on forever, way past the point of being enjoyable or useful.
Have you talked with anyone on the team about this? I had one EM who asked if we could do something shorter and simpler than the typical heavy and long dinner. She said that most of our team was doing “dry January” and focusing on health, so would it be ok if we were more low key? We had a more casual dinner, scheduled it earlier and ended it on time so people didn’t feel like hell the next day. Same outcome with a lot less personal sacrifice.
Do you have them weekly? We barely get any team dinners so grass is always greener
Yeah I’ve got zero time for it. Always avoided them unless absolutely mandatory
Excuse yourself or have the M on the project say the team still has a lot of work to complete, and then it would give everyone an out.
Yeah we never do team dinners until the end of a proj or week is light
The team dinners are supposed to be a reward for the travel since I have the power to expense much larger amounts and would love to get the team a much better meal than the typical individual meal expenditure. If it is onerous, then just speak to your team and see if it’s a “you” problem or if it really is impacting everyone. If it’s just you, then ask to be excused. We understand that you have your own life or you actually need the time to finish a deliverable.
Just ask if it is a “working” dinner where we will discuss the client or firm work, or if it is a social event.
You absolutely can say no! Everyone will understand. Only go if you actually want to.
Why are people organising team dinners on a Tue/Wed? I’ve always had them on Thr towards the end of the study when work is lighter.
Aren’t you flying home on Thursday night?
Depends how well I know the partner and the weight they have in the firm. If they are worth building a rapport with, staying may be the most important career move you can make. If they are a minion of a minion of other partners, you can politely duck out and be honest about your workload
Just whip out your laptop and work at the table. Productivity will be impacted but it’s better than nothing.