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Shooters shoot boys. 29 here.
Rising Star
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There are thousands of mainly straight events that involve inappropriate clothing and drugs but no one worries about the “straight image” - there’s sometimes this thought that gay people (or any historically marginalized group) has to earn respect by acting a certain way, but I think that’s rubbish. Gay people are allowed to do those things and be respected, just like straight people, and everyone else
I get that, my point here is more along the lines of the fact that no one is worrying about a “straight image” to the same degree. If you don’t think what someone’s doing at a pride parade is personally respectable that’s your point of view, but I think it’s problematic to worry that they’ll ruin everything for all gays. If straight people think what some gay people do at pride is shocking, they should still know that it’s just some gay people, and other gay people shouldn’t lose sleep over it.
OP, it’s cool if that type of pride event isn’t your vibe - like A1 said, there’s plenty of others - but you should explore the root of your concern with how our community is perceived. Like, are you against ppl doing drugs, being sexual, wearing inappropriate clothes, etc., in general? Or do you think it makes us less ‘palatable’ as a whole? Either way it’s very likely rooted in some flavor of the same homophobia and/or conservatism that has always sought to suppress us
Are you talking about Pride parade specifically? I didn’t know people have sex at those events these days (I stopped going cause it’s too chaotic for my taste).
But I’m more of an opinion that gay community is not monolithic and if someone is forming an opinion of a large group because of behaviors of a few individuals, it is on them. Like it never crosses my mind that I should behave in certain ways so we all look good to the society. That sounds tiring and typically IDGAF 🤪
I think it’s the opposite. Too family friendly and too corporate. Bring on more debauchery!
Exactly.
Being gay is a radical act, not joining a country club.
Yea so black people also have people who target them, are they holding a parade and throwing out lube at people and showing off their sex kinks?? Spare me “radical” bs, you being in a freaking pride float dancing in your booty shorts is not radical (and I love hot guys in booty shorts - I just done need to close streets for them)
Rising Star
Isn't that the point of gay pride? A forum and community for gays to be free, celebrate and have fun?
Rising Star
RSM1, that's a mix of internalized homophobia and misogyny, not an example of the labels being problematic.
I feel like half the people in this thread need to google respectability politics... but i'll try to summarize: you will never truly "earn" the respect of someone who despises you by acting a certain way... instead, by trying to outwardly appear palatable to their tastes, you can actually just reinforcing their limited view of the world... that said... healthy sex requires consent and that extends to watching of sex... so PDA at pride should be encouraged but actual sex not so much in a public area.
exactly. Respect is gained only from those willing to give it and only through authentic life.
Rising Star
Also...gay pride historically was only for members of our community. I recall back in LA / LB as a small child how these events were blocked off so that the public couldn't see what was happening inside. I would ask my parents what was going on inside and they would say it's not for us. Today, many gay pride events have non gays attending. No problem with that but let's not forget that these events are intended to uplift our community members and remind us that we're apecial and we can celebrate this in any manner we wish without judgement. We don't host gay pride for the public, we host it for ourselves.
OP you are generalizing a LOT. I’ve been to prides all over the US and in parts of Europe, I’ve never seen “inappropriate acts”. Whatever you’ve seen or heard, is not my experience. It’s extremely unfair for you to judge pride festivals around the world for whatever it is that you have seen once at your local pride parade.
It’s giving very my mom being like “I don’t care if you’re gay but isn’t painting your nails a bit much?”
Rising Star
I don’t know…I once asked a boyfriend of mine whether painting his nails was a bit much. He told me what I could do to myself…and rightfully so, come to think of it! I wasn’t getting any that evening!
Unpopular OP - but I agree with you.
To me, this is pearl clutching and smacks of begging the non-queer community to accept us, largely rooted in unhealthy, puritanical views in sex and sexuality (especially in the US). The post above on respectability politics nailed it.
MC1, if you’re grasping at straws this much to try and make an anti-LGBT caricature argument, why are you even in the LGBT bowl?
We say no to respectability politics. We don’t want the support of people who only want to be our ally because “we’re the good ones” instead of advocating us because we’re literally human beings. You will never ever be respected by people that already don’t like you for something that doesn’t even affect them.
So… MC1, we aren’t a monolith but you think all gays and all prides are “extraness”. I’m not even going to read all of that, it’s clear you’re just hear to argue and fall on your deep internalized homophobia.
Agree with OP.
they’re still gonna call us every slur in the book regardless (behind closed doors or not) while working hand-in-hand to make sure we have as little rights as possible. Do you and celebrate how you want
Omg kinda late to this party but I typed all of this so I’m gonna post anyway lol.
I mean the tea on this is every year someone burns out trying to do up a “new” sober, non sexual event vibe out of internalised homophobia + spite without actually engaging with anyone in the community so nobody actually turns up to and then they don’t make much money so they focus their efforts elsewhere and blame the community for not supporting their tiny vanity project to make them look palatable to their straight friends.
The best family friendly and wholesome events that I have been to have started out of love and appreciation for the wider queer community and making a space that welcomes and elevates without judgment. Sports clubs, book clubs ect, they all exist and are out in the community but people who ask these questions are too scared to actually talk to someone and learn about what people are currently doing and organising. Some people bite, most don’t.
The way these questions are often asked feel a need to put down other queer people for enjoying themselves and I think the real answer is interrogating what is making you feel this way? Like??? Maybe this hit a little bit of a sore spot for me lol.
I absolutely love what you said here. Couldn’t agree more.
Rising Star
There are plenty of events that happen during pride that aren’t what you described above. And even if there weren’t, who cares?
Rising Star
I agree. There’s a time and place for everything. We have events other than Pride (Market Days, Folsom, Circuit Parties etc.) where we can let loose and get debaucherous.
We also have family events that are made specifically with children in mind. Take your family to those events if you are looking for an appropriate time and place. Pride has always been for LGBT+ adults, and I’d rather it stay that way.
I just went to the beach where a group of straight people happily flew a racist flag and behaved rancorously with little regard to the people around them.
I highly doubt straight people go around worried about their “image”.
MC1, basically the entire Republican Party.
Pride is for us. Not for them.
I think, maybe bad parenting, and becoming influenced by the gibberish you were fed in churches has led you here. Cleanse.
100% agree! Yes getting naked and acting like a mess outside and making city close streets for it has nothing to do with equality
First the fact that we need to have “equality” parade so you can look like you going to pool party in middle of 5th Ave is a joke itself. Second yes I’ve seen everything from drag queens throwing out lube and dildos to leather daddies whipping their “pups”. Btw I don’t have anything against any of this and have my own kinks by I don’t need to pretend it’s some equality crap and close the streets and have a parade for my kinks