I went to the wedding of a friend/former jr creative last week. It was lovely! But it was a “no kids” affair and I didn’t get a ‘plus one’ (I’m married). I get it, girl - times are tight! However, I had to roll solo FAR upstate on a work day to a remote farm location with no cell service, stay in a spooky ground floor motel with no potable water. I’ll say this: have the wedding you dream of, but don’t invite people if you don’t want their Plus One (or plus one sweet 9 year old). Rant mode off!

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Not being able to bring your spouse is weird, but you sound entitled thinking you should be able to bring your child and people aren't allowed to have a kids free wedding.

And yes, I have three.

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I couldn't imagine not allowing you to bring your spouse to a wedding 😬

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I feel you OP. I think it’s a cultural difference between western and Asian world (not sure what ethnicity was the wedding but that’s generally what I have noticed). My husband’s best friend from London invited him without +1 because they didn’t “know” me and wanted a small wedding, he went. Again my husband’s cousin invited him without +1 and we declined this time. I’m from India and this would never happen there.

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100% agree with you. Thankfully the friends we have, although different cultures, have very similar values to us so +1s are always invited to weddings. It would be a “no” for me, if they only invited me without my spouse.

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This sounds like an interesting wedding to say the least. Going forward, I probably wouldn’t go to something like this (although I suspect this type of wedding is a one off). If they didn’t feel close enough to invite your spouse, then you’re probably not so close that you should feel bad about skipping out.

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You have the option to say no to the invite

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That would have been a quick decline for me. Inconvenient location AND no plus one AND have to find childcare? No thank you, I’ll send a lovely gift.

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Did you have to go to work the next day? Did the wedding planners suggest that all the attendees stay at this spooky motel with no potable water? Let's hope their next wedding is more traditional.

That's very odd. When I got married I didn't have room to invite my 4 closest coworkers and all of their spouses, so I ended up talking to the two I would invite and said listen, would u prefer I invite you and your spouse or would u prefer I invite a group of work friends and sit you all together? So I sort of got a feel for what people thought and there was a strong preference for invite more work friends versus including spouses. However, my wedding was local and nobody had to stay overnight anywhere

No plus-one for a spouse is so cheap and tacky IMHO.

No kids however…. I fully back a child-free wedding.

Signed,
Married mom of 2

It’s their wedding. Not yours. They can invite or not invite whoever the hell they want. No one forced you to attend.

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