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How would you define great communication?
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Tell the midlevel to shove it.
Subject Expert
Any mid level who said to you that your work was “laughable” deserves to be reprimanded. That’s not good supervision. If your work needed correction, and you’re a first year so it’s highly likely it did because that’s just how it goes, they should have taught you. Teaching you is the midlevel’s job.
“. . . other Associates in my class are killing it.”
Don’t do that! You’re here for *your* career, not theirs. Hold your head up, do good work, and be a good person. You’ll be shocked at how far that takes you.
Mentor
You’re a first year so your knowledge is very limited. Chances are the midlevel won’t even be at the firm by the time you’re a midlevel. You’re doing fine. I’ve frankly never worked with someone at a law firm who was so dumb we couldn’t figure out a client’s problem…
Mid-level here. You know nothing at this point and there’s no reason for you to have any idea what you’re doing. I actually LOVE teaching first years the basics because it reminds me of all that I’ve learned and where I started. The mid-level you described seems like a jerk. You should find someone willing to teach who you can call when you have a question (even if the question seems silly or stupid).
So true - coaching first years is the best. Love to see their progress.
You are a first year and know nothing yet. The only associates who I felt like weren’t a good fit for big law and untrainable were the ones who didn’t try and clearly didn’t want to be here. If you are trying and asking questions and listening to feedback than you are doing great.
That mid level is being an ass. But, maybe make sure to check in before billing 25 hours.next time. If you’re spending that much time on a project, you want to make sure you’re getting things generally correct. It never hurts to ask someone to do a quick look over of a rough draft to make sure you’re on the right track.
Two months in to my first biglaw job, I was literally told to STFU by a partner after being asked for (and giving) my perspective on our group and our processes.
I stated that I enjoyed the work, but thought there were areas that could use improvement. I suggested using AI and, at least, OCR to speed up the due diligence review process.
I had worked for a legal AI startup during my third semester of law school, and had six years’ worth of prior leadership experience before law school.
The people at my new firm have been fantastic compared that first experience.
I used to feel this way too and would constantly question whether law was for me, and then I realized that what I disliked wasn’t the law - it was the people I was working with. Biglaw has some very interesting personalities and there will always be people who will make you feel like you don’t know enough, but remember this is your life and your career and if you want to be a lawyer, some rando‘s opinion of you (or your work) should not matter. Everyone has different styles, just focus on learning and improving yourself.
I’ve been practicing for 10 years and I am only now getting more fully comfortable with this…
I wasn’t even at big law when I started, and I was confused ALL THE TIME. Even now - every matter has at least a little bit of a learning curve unless you’ve done almost the same exact thing dozens of times. But what fun is that?
You’re gonna feel like this for like the first 6 months or so. I promise it gets easier, or at least easier to manage once you have a grasp on what’s going on.
It didn’t even begin to click for me until around 9 months, and I’m still unsure what I’m doing a lot of times after two years.
First year is hard - you are going to be bad at virtually everything you are asked to do for at least 6+ months, probably more like 12+ months depending on how good your mentors are. Rising third year here and I still cringe at the things I said/did/asked as a first year. It gets easier and you get less bad at your job as time goes on. I had the same thoughts as a first year, but glad I stuck with it.
Coach
You’re probably just suffering from imposter syndrome. Retrain your brain!
What I wish I had known as a first year was how I didn’t know anything and no one expected me to know anything. What assigning attorneys expect is that you can take direction; ask questions when confused; and you accept feedback and it shows in subsequent work product. When your peers are “killing it”— you really don’t know what’s actually going on with them. For someone to tell you your work product was laughable was probably jealous bc partners commended you on other work.
The best part about being a mid level (to me) is that I no longer feel dumb, i just accept I don’t know it *yet*. I accept that there’s no way for me to know certain stuff because I haven’t done it before and i make sure i communicate to assigning partners what my experience is. The difference between now and year 1 is I know who to ask for support and where to look to get help with questions.
First of all, very few first years actually are "killing it" so you can erase that notion from your head and never think of it again. Second of all, you shouldn't be comparing yourself against them anyway. Third of all, listen to the partners who liked your work, they are the ones who matter. Last of all, it takes a long time to truly understand what's going on. Your firm hired you not because you already know (they know you don't), but because they believe you can learn.
None of the reasons you listed are actually real reasons to not like big law.