I work at JP Morgan. AMA!

likeuplifting
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Why do you crave so much attention

likefunny

Answer this one OP

funnyuplifting

How’s the cannon situation?

likefunny

it is good!

Do you “Chase what matters?”

funny

what matters chases us actually 😂

like

My fish headed wife lacks cannons of an adequate caliber. Do you have anything larger than a 12 pounder Napolean? Perhaps up to even a 50 pound Dahlgren?

funnylike

Yes

Did you get a surge in applications recently?

funny

im not that high up but probably yes 😂

like

Then post under your company

funny

true. glad i no longer work there

Why do you work there? Do you like your dictator CEO?

like

Not a brag to work at JPM like it used to be.

smart

THIS! ⬆️

What’s your view on RTO?

5 days in the office? If not how many? And most of all - are you happy?

Broke: Work from home

Woke: Work is your only home

Why do yall suck a diligence?

Like are you a bank teller or an investment banker or what? What’s your role and do you like the bank or not (and why)?

Does doing something like this make you feel better about yourself? Or do you actually think people care?

Why do you work there?😆

Related Posts

hello! i’m from chicago and will be visiting perth for 1 week at the end of november and would appreciate any recommendations for things to do and restaurants! i will be checking out the central business district, rottnest island, the pinnacles, and fremantle. if you have any other suggestions, please let me know- thank you so much!

This who have had Covid, do you have loss of smell?

like

In two interviews the interviewer asks me about one topic which I know theoretically and some practical. I directly said to the interviewer that I am not an expert in that, but if I get my hands on it then I can learn in one day.

After asking two questions again he came on the same topic this happens twice in two interviews. Mere ko lag raha hey Jaan bujhke questions same topic pe puchte hey, so that they don't select that candidate.

like

Is being a freelance trainer on weekend moonglighting?

McKinsey & Company Turning to consulting after 5+ years of direct management roles(healthcare- provider, payer and innovation space). Any advice?
Deloitte ZS Associates McKinsey & Company Accenture Manatt Cerner healthcare

likesmart

Hi Fishes,

What percentage hike can I negotiate in the HR round of Accenture if I have a second offer of 17 lacs (CTC) in hand and a relevant experience of 2 years?

Inputs from people who are working or have worked in Accenture would be really appreciated. 🙂

How do upgrades to nicer rooms work for Marriott?

What is your preferred CMS for building a reliable blog?

like

Looking for full stack developer to join my early startup. We are a small team but hoping to grow a lot this year. Must love books and geeky stuff

like

What is the probation period in Deloitte USI for lateral hire?

like

Anyone join jp morgan Bangalore on sept 20th for the Asset and wealth management LOB

like

Wanted to start a job thread to help our people get referrals and find new opportunities. Post any openings at your job or that you're aware of in the comments!

like

I used to work from home. I got a new job that requires me to go into the office. I love the job and the people I work with. There’s great energy and opportunities. But, the drive to the new job takes over an hour, and traffic is nuts. What are some tricks or tips to keep your sanity when driving to work? I hate traffic and it feels like such a waste of time. I listen to lots of podcasts, but I’m starting to get very bored of them. What do you all do?

like

Don't hate me but Brookly style pizza >>> Chicago deep dish, any day, any time.

like

Are customer engineers allowed to work from a country other than US if needed for a few days ? I am planning to visit India for visa stamping and I won’t have much PTOs to take.

Got this beauty today. Patience was totally worth it!

Post Photo
like

If there is a case that we have to quarantine again. Do you all think it is possible for store associates to work remotely? If so, what are some ways this could work? I fear another pandemic or outbreak and so many people being out of work again. I can't even fathom those that had jobs in retail that had little to no choice to not be remote.

like

I've been approached about being an expert consultant. Has anyone done this before? I'm interested to hear people's experience.

like

For anyone who cracked the leetcode questions. I’ve been going at it for months but spend hours trying to get to a solution and hours trying to understand why the “answer key” works. Can someone please share how you learned these questions? Probably going to give up and switch careers soon.

What’s the keyboard shortcut to get into the “insert options” dialogue when you’ve inserted a new row with Ctrl+Shift+Plus?

like

Additional Posts in Confession

Beer is now cheaper than gas. Drink more, drive less 🤧

likefunnysmarthelpful

Why is drinking and getting drunk the “fun” traits but staying home to chill is “boring”? I must be in the wrong era 🥺

like

Woman approaching 40, dated once, LTR once and heartbroken by 32 as I found the man in LTR was cheating on me. Shut my heart completely to ensure never give anyone the power to hurt me. Today I wake up and see years have passed. I have checked off many bucketlist items being single for these years including solo euro trip. But now I feel I can’t go on forever. I just wish I had someone to plant a good morning kiss, like simple things in life. Hard to share these feelings, hence confessing

like

Just found out that my favorite aunt, who claimed I was her “favorite” niece, chose to leave all her valuables to her other two nieces who never visited or called her once in the last ten years. My aunt passed away suffering from cancer last year and didn’t have her own kids. I was there by her side throughout her battle. I still wish I had done more, made her life easier. I probably sound petty, but a part of me is forcing me to re-evaluate every interaction I ever had with her.

like

I'm not hearing enough about Miya Marcano from the media

likefunny

Women who went back/forgave your cheating partner, why did you do it? Did it work out in the end?

like

I would like to take this time to sincerely apologize for calling people in there 30s old, I finally turned 30 and we are young af, unlike the old geezers in their 40s

funnylike

I just got a FAANG offer with 290k TC (8 YOE), so I am trying to rent out my place as I need to relocate, but I am not able to find someone to cover my full rent and I am depressed because I am so not investment savvy and I can NEVER EVER accept losing money in ANY SITUATION. Am I being insane?

likefunny

Minor confession

I hate when I respond to a post and people keep responding to it by NOT “replying” but adding another comment. 🤡

like

I don’t feel sorry for FAANG / Big tech workers They ll be ok right ? Haha

like

What’s a pet peeve of yours that a coworker or client does? Mine is that my coworker says “ya know” after literally every sentence they say

funnylike

Something funny happened yesterday. Ordered take out for my family and went to go pick it up. I get there mask on, cold, my jacket is zipped to my nose. I'm like I'm here to pick up. He's like"how are you". Im like good. Then he's like"you're not going to ask me how I am". I'm like "sorry, how are you". He said he's good. Then her offers me some tea and was like drink this. So I take it politely. As I'm drinking it taking off my mask, dude is staring at me. 😭😭 Continued in comments

like

Make gwap and pine tings

like

Don’t mind me here as an international student just sitting here with my bucket of popcorn watching you all bicker about student loan forgiveness

Post Photo
funnylike

I overslept and just woke up 🥲 oops

funnylike

I've been almost 3 years in my previous company and never have I ever tasted any raise from them. I got transferred to different accounts and LOB it was so exhausting and finally when I decided to leave and send my resignation my Supervisor be like "you know you should be thankful of your job" To be honest the job was very stressful and supervisor at some point is somehow toxic but thankful I get to take my leave.

like

If I could go back again, I wouldn’t have sex. I’d wait. “Someone special” is cliche, but nothing I’ve had was meaningful. Fun, sure, but not meaningful.

likehelpful

How does having a cute puppy actually help guys get girls? Is it more effective than having a sports car?

like

Guys I had a terrible nightmare this morning. Apparently I saw two middle aged men burning alive in a hotel room. And then I woke up.
Too much game of thrones or is there some meaning to this lol

like

@ PE folks, do you think it’s weird if a new member of your Big Law team of lawyers sends you a LinkedIn request as soon as she starts working with you? Is it less weird if I wait?

(The confession is that I eventually want to go in-house at this PE firm, so I want them to like me 😅)

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal