Related Posts
In-hand for below offer?

Additional Posts in The Wedding Bowl
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
In-hand for below offer?

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.
Download the Fishbowl app to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Copy and paste embed code on your site

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

So as a bride who makes more than all my
friends…I’m doing a low key pool day. I would ask her what she wants and maybe set some expectations.
Maybe but probably not! I think a full day of food and swimming is enough for me!
OP are you even friends with this person? Your responses don’t seem to be coming from a happy place.
Pro
As someone who has been a bridesmaid MANY times and is also a recent bride, I think you should take a beat to reflect on what you are feeling, why, and make sure you are being honest with yourself. Then, be honest with the bride. I have seen wedding party stuff ruin friendships specifically because of the resentment that can build up on each side that is easily fixable with good communication. Check in with yourself and your friend. Being in a wedding party is stressful!
I would bring it up with your friend. I would keep it positive and cry if you can. Positive as in “I’m so excited to be your bridesmaid and want to make your bachelorette special” *insert info about you not having the funds to do something extravagant* START CRYING!!!!! Tears will get her to feel bad. Close with your proposal “I want to celebrate within my means here’s what I’m thinking…” sob sob sob.
If she says she still wants to do something super expensive she’s INSANE. You’ll look hysterical if you cry so you can just say you’re not financially or emotionally capable of being a great bridesmaid and wish her luck. FIN.
You will either get her to agree to a lowkey bach party or she will find another bridesmaid. Win win situation.
Rising Star
or be an adult and have a mature conversation and don’t turn on tears to try and emotionally manipulate someone but sure
If you’re the only one, then you have full control over it. Plan something low key for you and your friend and maybe a couple others. Maybe one of your favorite activities with something sentimental attached.
I hate myself.
Lol so it would just be you and your friend? Yeah why wouldn’t you plan something for someone who deemed you special enough to be their only bridesmaid.
No.
Rising Star
I don’t think you are. In my experience, everyone attending pays for themselves and then the bride’s costs are split among everyone. But just the planning by yourself is a lot. I would ask what her expectations are.
Rising Star
Yep, I think you do. I’m avoidant too, but this would be a common question to ask even if there was a big group.
Rising Star
any bride that expects their bdidesmaids to cover their costs is a shitty person IMO. brides should always pay their own way and then their bridesmaids can choose to cover a meal or something on the trip if they want to and if they’re able. also talk to her about what she wants, it’s not on you to plan everything
Rising Star
bridesmaids aren’t to get free trips from or to inconvenience, they’re so you can have the most important people in your life extra involved in your big day. becoming a financial burden isn’t how you do that. expectations should always be communicated from the beginning, but unfortunately you will have to be the one that brings it up
As a former bride picking something and then asking someone to pay for it is rude/not a thing. Have you spoken to your friend about her expectations and set guardrails for all-things wedding related?
I’m scared to make it awkward and committing to something I prefer not to do. I thought that it was an unspoken rule that the bridesmaid pay for the occasion. I also know that what she wants to do, is going to cost a good amount of money, especially if I have to pay for it doubled.
None of my friends have expected me to pay for any of their bachelorette costs and most made that explicit. Of course ppl pick up dinners and drinks and activities for the bride out of good will.