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Because homphobia is still a problem. Fishbowl users tend to be young, educated, high-achieving city-dwellers, a group whose social circles lean progressive, thus making homophobia (and other things) seem like smaller issues.
But most Americans aren't in those circles, so the homphobia situation can look different. Plus, there's a lot of people who aren't openly homophobic, but the story is different behind closed doors.
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I used to volunteer with unhoused lgbtqia+ teens. From that experience, the fear of being judged is likely a factor of why someone may choose to remain closeted. Society projects many negative connotations with being gay, causing some people to lose their family, their friends, their homes, etc. Being apart of the lgbtqia+ community is not for the weak!
Because not everyone is proud of it (not saying that is right but just stating the truth)
It’s not legal in some countries
Because people still want to harm them. Regardless of it being "in the US", there are still some straight men (or even straight women) who take offense to a man being anything but straight and will just straight up harm them.
I am not closeted but I am pansexual. I feel my sexuality is something private where it shouldn’t concern people. Also if anything, the LGBTQ community has made many people who are straight very homophobic with their loud vocal acts. Usually most are sane but it’s the loud voices often ruining things for everyone. There was a woman in my work, where she was going around spreading rape rumours about me since I look very hyper masculine, only it was this time where I was forced to come out as Gay but other than that I am perfectly happy to be closeted and open to only few like friends and family. The world doesn’t need to know about my personal life
BULLSHIT! It’s those LOUD voices that brought about the laws that have made life better for others, including
Because acceptance is recent and more work should be done. Not everyone is feeling comfortable coming out. Also, many more bi men are closeted and down low. If you’re in an important lead role, it could be better to stay closeted at work.
Better for whom?
There are still a lot of places and families that are not safe for LGBTQIA+ folks.
I said nothing about being comfortable. I’m talking about safety. You are likely not, and may never have been, in that kind of situation where your safety would be at risk for being out but a lot of people are. I live in the Bible Belt and fear for my own safety but more my kid’s safety if I am out. And, that’s a real and valid fear. We have people burning businesses, assaulting or killing people down here on a regular basis for being queer or especially trans.
Being “in the closet” is a choice people are free to make just like any other, if it comes from a place of personal choice and not fear or coercion. Are people like Stephen imposing fear and shame on others? It’s 2024, as said by the OP. Some of us are bi and just made a choice. My son is comfortable in his sexuality as a gay man but doesn’t feel the need to continuously “come out”. There are still problems in society with acceptance of sexual orientation. No question there. But even in a Deep South state like mine, it is very much not 1984.
Because they are ashamed of what they are or they fear the consequences of outing. No brainer…
I think some struggle with the idea or reality of it. In some cases, they prefer to identify as heterosexual/heteronormative to avoid stigma, much like the comments others have made above. In other cases, the men are closer to feeling/being heterosexual. Sometimes these are referred to as “homoflexibles.” They are primarily into women and only occasionally desire a sexual encounter with another man. In these instances, they have a detached experience with the sexual partner where it’s all sensationally driven and transactional. They simply want the experience or act of something without feeling any attraction to the person. Sexuality is an identity, and that identity is about feeling attracted to someone based on their gender and or sex. Sexual arousal and desire can be driven by 2 factors. 1) the person or phenotype of person (identity, basis of sexual orientation). 2) the urge or excitement of certain sexual act or acts (e.g. head, or other paraphilic behaviors). Sexuality is complex and fluid.
Being in the closet is an interesting concept because being gay isn’t usually a visual thing. Sure there’s gay culture, but not all of us have the gay accent so people who look totally “normal” can fly under the radar at most places without actually hiding any part of their identity.
FEAR and SHAME.
It got much better as more LGBT people came out to families and friends and fought back. I had an older male client who graduated from Harvard Law School in the 50s. He was outed before graduation and Harvard refused to award him his JD on moral grounds. Thus, he never was able to sit for the bar (no JD). And he never pursued a law career— because of his shame.
They refused to award him because he was gay? How would him coming out on his own have helped that? Of course he would hide being gay if his career was going to be eradicated, you should be blaming the person that outed him not the victim.
Because here in Michigan, you would probably get pounded
Oh please. This is insulting
To those suffering in places where there are no gay rights. Gay People in Uganda would happily have your life in Michigan