OK! Confession time. I am a hypocrite. I judge people@if they ghost me on Grindr, at the sametime I do it a lot. I feel ashamed now

likefunny
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Good diagnosis. What’s the action plan?

Suggestions please

Same. How do we stop?

Worse part is I feel bad when some one ghost me and I don’t care when I ghost someone else

Would be nice if you could bottle emotions (the “feeling bad cause you got ghosted”) and release them later (while you’re thinking about ghosting someone)

Well I would suggest changing how you think about grindr, how you behave on it, or both.

Specifically it’s a transactional platform so don’t invest emotionally too early. It’s like selling in consulting: you have lots of conversations with people unsure what they want, without budget, before you find good clients and then eventually a few very long term relationships. You can blame the guy for ghosting but he either started something he wasn’t really into or he had too many active leads and focused. You do that too, we all do.

On behavior, maybe I am not the right guy to advise. I use it occasionally for fun/fwb and find it’s best to be generous (not in the $$ sense) and transparent. I sometimes have sex when I am not into the guy because that’s how transaction platforms work and it’s a lot better than what I had as a youngster. Sometimes you get a good surprise, sometimes you waste an hour.

So I was referring to those times where we meet and he‘s not what I expected (but not scary or repellent) or where chat is advanced but he‘s not sharing a face pic or being complicated but lives nearby. I guess I meant I tend to give benefit of doubt.

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