Just rejected my first candidate after interviewing. She was nice, but it wasn’t the right fit. I’ve been on the job market myself recently and rejections are devastating — a punch in the gut every time. I don’t need convinced I did the right thing for my team, but how do y’all stomach that crushing guilt?

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I’ve reached out to folks in my network that I know are hiring, saying I have a lead for them and reiterate their strengths and why I think they’d be a fit for the role. I’ve done this internally and externally, and has always worked out well. I’ve even gotten a few opportunities out of it myself.

Caveat - not for every candidate, only the ones I felt were qualified and would be a good fit. It’s what I’d want someone to do for me.

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Provide positive feedback and appreciate people and their time.

I love interviewing because I always learn something new and interesting.

Just be positive and wish folks well.

God is in control!

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Two things
1. If it’s not a fit it’s better to stop it now than later
2. There are many many many recruiters and HM that ghost candidates nowadays, so think that she knows it is no go, she can move on and keep searching

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You only have 1 spot to fill and many to talk to. They would understand this. Just remain genuine and making sure your selection process is based on factual information that aligns with the position and not the candidates personally. You can always thank them for their time and let them know you enjoyed getting to know more about their background despite it not being a good fit

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I’m interested to know why it wasn’t a good fit.

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All skills can be transferable. The job at hand is finding the best fit without leveraging additional unnecessary resources (money, time, team resources) to come.

My call was right and I’m not calling it into question l. Hiring that candidate was a bad move for my team and I owe them that good call. Can I coach the skills I need and get them where they need to be? Sure. Is it worth the effort compared to hiring other viable candidates? No.

It was just the first time I had to trigger a rejection letter. I was just asking for advice and insight into how to better manage that emotionally.

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It's better to reject a candidate and move on than hire the wrong candidate and have to fix their screw up or make the case to fire them. I understand that the economy is hard, but leave all emotions out of the process.

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If you’re having these lingering thoughts, it may be your gut telling you they could have been a good fit. Keep them on the table if other candidates don’t work out and have a flexible but clear criteria for passing candidates for the next time.

Areas that warrant flexibility include: transferable skills, strong drive to learn, strong relational skills, as these can compensate for any perceived shortcomings. The candidate you have today can be a very different candidate in 3-4 months after effective onboarding and transition to projects. The best hires I’ve had would not have passed HR screens because of their resume alone but what out them on partner track was their determination, their consistent desire to accumulate varied experiences and learning to even out their expertise, and other character traits contributing to the community.

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I wanted to share how I stomach guilt in similar situations - through reassessing what my gut is telling me and realigning my requirements for a different, more desirable experience for both parties the next time. Help it not feel so bad.

I can see that my response and those from others as well triggered some defensiveness - was not the intent from my end. I’ve been in these situations too, and I get it. No one here is questioning your skills, simply wanting to help. Hope you have a nice day and best of luck.

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You’re going to have to get tough. Not only about this, but tons of other issues you will deal with during your career in HR. Allowing personal emotions to get in the way will impact your decision-making ability and make your effectiveness dwindle.

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