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The baggage and PTSD is real. And unless someone has worked at a truly toxic place before they won’t understand how it drains you and makes you less you.
This may help: try envisioning the you before the toxicity entered the picture. I find this helpful because the healthier you used to be familiar. Muscle memory is a real thing too.
If you can tap back into the healthier you, it could help alleviate the learned distrust. Because distrust can have its own impact on you and how you relate to your new coworkers, it will help “clean canvas” your mindset and get you back to energy spent on meaningful worthwhile thinking at work vs the negativity, the bracing, and anxiety that is so depleting.
Coach
I love this. Going to use it as well.
I’m so glad you made that leap! I did the same thing. Be open and friendly to your new colleagues. But I’ve noticed that politics can creep in quickly. If you don’t speak up, it can take hold. Be the friend your new colleagues might not realize they need!
Hi friend - I say this with kindness as someone who has done exactly the same thing at one point in my own career: ask yourself if you’re manufacturing dramatics in your adjustment process that are serving you because you’re used to the theatrics/unnecessary drama as your normal. It takes a while to break that cycle of everything being more stressful than it needed to be, so set check in moments with yourself when you feel it creep in.
Embrace it and you can start to realize that not every company operates with the levels of toxicity you’re referencing because in reality, it doesn’t matter. We just convince ourselves it does. It’s a mechanism to create self importance and it runs high at big agencies because if there’s drama and you can help fix it, you are perceived as valuable (but we’re often the ones who contribute to its creation).
You’re great, it sounds like an amazing change that will create major benefits in your mental, emotional, and physical health, and one day when someone else makes that transition… you can be their guide into making our industry better. Good luck!
Congrats on making the right steps for you and your whole life! I was a journalist at a major TV station and it was so toxic. I left almost 2 years ago for a 300-person company doing tech comms (which then got acquired by EY), so it was a significant career shift as well. I felt exactly the same way you did. Something that helped me: each time there was a situation that I recognized as something that would have been toxic in my old universe but wasn't in my new environment was something to be a tiny bit grateful for. I still have moments like that, like where I'll see my old boss driving home from work at 7:00 and I certainly don't work that late anymore! (That's not a toxic item, but it is something to be grateful for now that I have a child.) Also, in my case I had a hard time trusting that leaving the toxic environment was the right move sometimes, because my old company has lifers and some sweet perks. But my mental health is the sweetest perk of them all.
Coach
Congrats to you on making a move that was right for you. Making that change isn't as easy as some will make it out to be. Mental health is important to prioritize.
I think it’s just going to take time. Just like an unhealthy relationship, you need time to process the change and gain your confidence back. You may find that you also bring baggage to your new role. Hopefully over time you learn to let that go.
Coach
Congratulations on making the leap. I had a pretty toxic manager situation earlier in my career and it definitely made it harder for me to trust some folks in my next job. It took time, but I did make it through and then ended up with a wonderful mentor.