My direct report doesn’t like me. Major eye rolls and little gen Z digs that I’m ignorant (to society’s ills). She’s a huge idealist. Anyhow , I know it shouldn’t matter but it’s making me insecure. How would you manage this within yourself? I’m new to this.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Don’t feel insecure- you are in your role for a reason. Emotional maturity comes with time and the reality that work is just that WORK. Take this person aside and ask them to be more self aware about thier inappropriate/unprofessional behavior and focus on the role they were hired for. Respect may be earned, but if your team has zero clue on what this means then all rules are off!!

likehelpful

Try not to take it personally. You might consider trying to confront directly - you seem frustrated, let’s talk about it and see what can be done. Put it on her to articulate and see what happens, you might be surprised.

like

Draw line somewhere. We generally have best intentions, but some people have manufacturing defect in their personalities and it’s not your job to fix them. Coach if possible, especially if they are open to, but recognize if they are unfixable. I hate to say but get rid of them if it comes to that because one bad fish could litter the pond

like

Next time she rolls her eyes or makes a comment, I would ask "what's going on? I'm not sure what the eye roll is about/ what you mean with that comment." The important thing is not to bail her out if there is awkward silence. Wait for her to say something.

When she does respond you can keep the conversation going, but you should also say "I understand where you're coming from, but it's not appropriate to roll your eyes or make those comments. If you have a specific work related concern we can definitely talk about it."

Hold her to it - if she does it again, say "this is an example of what we talked about the other day. What's up?"

like

I guess I didn't answer your direct question - first, this is not appropriate behavior and you're not unreasonable to find it off-putting, and you can and should address it!

In terms of your own side of things, try to remember that this is more about her than you. You can bend over backwards to be nice and she may still act this way. Not all of your reports will like you (sometimes extra true if you're doing your job well and holding them accountable) but all you can do is try to be fair and reasonable.

So you are the leader and you need to be respected as such. I had a team of 36 reporting into me and one who clearly had no regard for me or my role at all. I started having our bi-weekly 1;1s weekly and took her for coffee - a different place of her choice each week. Our initial conversations were a bit tense but as each week went by, she loosened up. However, seeing your follow-up conversations in this chair, it appears trying to connect with her hasn't worked.

So now it's time to define your role in relation to her role. Let her know - you are leading the team, she may not like you or your leadership methods, but there are rules of engagement that must be adhered with. You expect - as she does - to be treated with respect. Rolling of eyes is not acceptable and her opinion of you being "ignorant to society's ills" is not for her to decide. Inside the workplace she must be respectful of all, regardless of what's happening out in "society". Failing this all working, it's time to start documenting her behaviour formally and including HR in your discussions. You cannot allow for this behaviour to impact your team - it creates a poisonous work environment for all and anyone who does, needs to go.

like

I’d also be cautious as this person could potentially be harboring some kind of resentment to you. I’d address it in your 1x1s or take them out to lunch and try to get to know them on a more personal level so hopefully they see you’re a good person

Thanks. Yes I do all of that. I wished her well for Eid, I said her weekend spin class sounded exciting, I ask how her dog is doing. I think when she started the company she was left floundering with no line manager until I came along so there’s a lot of resentment built up. Also, I suspect her and the other younger people are in a WhatsApp group where they bitch and moan about the seniors

Related Posts

Two years ago got fired. Reason, Boss was unhappy beacuse of my direct contact with CEO also with other higher level people. So he took my CCTV footage to show his bosses and hr that i always roming around which is true beacuse i finish my work way faster then others. To add more skills i hang around with purchase or sales, learn from them few new things. BTW i never ever been late for submitting my work on time. And everyone likes me. Feeling angry and very bad what did i done wrong.

like

Does anyone have an intern or other person calling FOR them? If so, how are you working it? What kind of script? Whats the goal for them on the first call? What restrictions do they have.

like

How do you deal with imposter syndrome? I'm a new therapist and I work with a bunch of women who have been doing this for ages. They're all really sweet, but I can't help feeling like I'm way out of my league. I mostly see younger clients which I guess works in my favor, but I just feel like I'm totally incompetent compared to the women I work with.

like

How do you build rapport with your colleagues?

like

How do you cope when your employer rapidly descends into chaos from the top down? Today is my 2yr anniversary with this company. In the past 6mos, they have repeatedly changed directions / goals, pushing out several supportive and productive managers in favor of a single chauvinist overlord who makes HR violations daily and does no actual work. HR denies every complaint made against him and he retaliates to the point of firing people. Very hostile. How do I survive until I find my next gig?

I’m still trying to process seeing an agency exec well known for dismissing and ignoring POC held up as an exemplary diversity champion for women at the 3% Conference.

likesmart

I am about to leave my current organization and I have several thousand in outstanding commission owed to me. It is a start up, so I have little faith in their fulfillment if I am not there to hold them responsible. My contract says I must be paid it within 6 months of separation. How have you all handled situations like this?

like

I started working for a new law firm, much larger than the firm I was working for previously. The main attorney that I work under had noticed some mistakes I was making (I am a NY paralegal who took this position with the understanding that they’d be teaching me NJ and NYC real estate). Anyways, the attorney decided to tell the HR manager about the mistakes I had been making. Rather than HR discussing with me, the manager told my dramatic coworker to tell me..how should I handle this? Very hurt!

like

I have a few interviews lined-up and wondering if it’s unprofessional to wear my nose ring on an interview? What are your thoughts?

like

I teach freshmen who haven't met the only other single teacher in my department. Today, I asked one of them to take something to him and immediately kids started talking about how we were dating. Ugh.

like

What do you value most to make a work environment attractive to you?

like

What do you do for winter shoes and commuting?

I walk a total ~20 mins in between train/bus stations and then getting from the stop in the loop to the office.

What do I do come wintertime for boots? Do you wear them while you're in the office? Or do you bring dress shoes with you to change in to? I wear a suit to work, so what boots would be good for winter but also look decent with a suit? This is my first winter in Chicago (a socal transplant)

like

What do I do if I’ve only worked one job (the one I’m currently at) and another company is asking for references? I could do professors from college but not sure if that’s a good idea. I wish I could give my current manager’s contact but I don’t want her knowing :/

like

Im mainly into POC and they’re so hard to find at the big 4. Finally met a cute POC & come to find out he has a wife. When I tell you I was so sad 😂

like

Getting grief from boss for never attending our team social events (dinner parties etc). I don’t enjoy these kinds of events but I’m the only one on the team who feels that way (cont)

like

For freelancer that work with multiple clients at once. Do you have any tools to manage calendars across different emails? Ideally, when I get a meeting invite from one client it would block my availability on my other accounts.

like

How do you deal with making mistakes at work? I’ve been doing good work lately but there’s one partner who thinks I’m mistake prone and I just made a mistake on something he asked me to do, but I corrected it quickly. However, there is public record of my mistake.

like

Day of remote interviews at a tech co for in-house. 5 YOE. Planning on wearing a suit. Tie or no tie?

like

Joined ZS 7 months ago but never interacted with PD coach yet. Is it important?

like

What are your tips on convincing a fellow employee not to switch agencies? I really don't want to compete with them

like

More Posts

Is it a red flag if they’re an associate?

smart

ORM 740 GMAT, 3.1 GPA from Top 10 Public, Tier 2 -> Tech in Finance with 4 YOE. Would it be a reach to get into UCLA, Yale, or Berkeley?

like

EY -TAS , S&O . We are hiring. If interested, reach out...

likehelpfulfunny

Can anyone here give a referral?

like

Bain & Company Hi! Anyone at Bain & Company willing to provide referrals to the London office? PhD background in bioengineering, currently at a life science boutique (ClearView, Health Advances, Trinity, Putnam etc) with a interest in the healthcare PE practice. Happy to send resume over to see whether it’s a good fit, thanks!

like

Hello Everyone

Any opening for change manager / problem manager/ profile in@barclay can someone refer me I hve 5 years of exp in this profile and I am ITIL v4 certified

like

Hello,Amazon Google Can anyone tell me how does companies like Amazon, Google perform background check. Especially, how do they verify previous employment experience? O

like

Do most people usually pass HC?

like

Hi folks, i am looking for a job change i have 2.6 yoe in data engineering with tech stack - hive, hadoop, pyspark, sql, python , aws. These days i am not getting much calls. I worked for x company for 2 yrs and switched to y company in feb 2022. But recently i faced a situation. I cleared all rounds and send my docs to sunlife financial but now when i am trying to connect with them they are saying your candidature is on hold. I alao resigned from my current company. What should i do?

like

Moving to Boston (South end) with my fiancé and got a 350 sq foot place (newly renovated) for $1450 a month. The place is small but pretty nice.
Just wanted to see if people think I got shafted or reasonable?

like

No promotion or raises in my office because of COVID. We ve done a brilliant year until March and the business is not (yet) impacted. I feel it’s unfair. (Continued in first comment)

like

Whomever is doing the tv placement for Advocate Healthcare in Chicago: do you have to have the ad going every other commercial? If I hear “come on get healthy” one more time, I’m leaving the state.

likefunny

Kinda a long shot - but have any Canadians flown into LHR recently? What’s the arrival protocol? And what do I need to present to prove I’ll be self isolating for 2 weeks?

like
like

My company reimburses CFA exam fees if I clear level the exam and if I stay in the firm for 2 yrs from reimbursement date. I don’t wish to be in the same firm . Can i still apply for CFA scholarship?

like

Anyone else got Star Trek Christmas swag? I will post some of my ornaments collected over the years

Post Photo
like

Anyone here doing Pharma marketing or any sort of data analyst work? If so, please let me treat you to coffee in exchange to pick your brain!

I’m curious about your career path, day in the life, do you enjoy it? Would love to connect!

like

(Reserve) Unit Transfer Help

ETS in 6 months. Really want to re-enlist for 4 -6 years. Currently in a MOB, and got promoted out of the unit last year June to another unit, did 1-year E5 work during the mob. Finishing up MOB in Nov and got accepted into a cyber unit in which I can progress my career, and want to reenlist for 6 years.


However, the unit I got promoted to insist me to go to them and I'm ETS in 6 months.

I reached out to rentenion guy, he’s very Lazy

What should I do?

like

I am embarking on egg freezing soon and I got some unpleasant news today after a scan. I had a scan 2 months ago and my follicle count was slightly low then. As I was on birth control at the time, I had to go off it and repeat the scan two months later. In the 2nd scan we found that I only had 6 follicles and that we would only be able to get 4-6 eggs per cycle. I am 36 and I decided to start this process now more just as backup. I have never dreamt of being a mother and yet this news has (cont)

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal