My girlfriend is an avoidant and it feels like she doesn’t want me even though she says she does how do I fix this?

likefunny
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Sir, this is a Wendy's

likefunnyuplifting

thank u for this

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I want to chime in since my ex gf is an avoidant but I won’t out of principle since this is the consulting bowl. Post it in the relationship bowl and I’ll be happy the give advice

likesmarthelpful

You’re being duped man. Drop her and find someone who deserves you

likefunny

Avoidants change for the person they want. I used to be an avoidant and changed to keep my girlfriend.

Wasn’t an overnight thing, but there was definitely changes real quick.

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Guess that means she never wanted me then. All talk, no action.

Can you unpack this more?

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Leave bruh.

likefunny

People don’t change unless they want to. If she’s already being non commital I doubt it will improve unfortunately, from recent experience in a 4y relationship.

Find someone who chooses you every day even in the hard times.

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Be selfish like her

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Dated a girl like this and she’d come over every day, but act really cold other times. Was fun but I’d literally say “I don’t think you actually like me” but she’d always say she did.

Shit ended and I never talked to her again. If she wasn’t super hot I wouldn’t have dealt with it tbh - my current gf is also lovely but way more fun to hang out with and there’s no second guessing things. The peace of mind is worth finding someone else imo.

like

You don't fix it. You stick with her and work through it together or you decide to move on.

If you want to work on it together then you should ask her this question, and like consulting, be ready to work through a lot of ambiguity and "I don't knows" along the way.

Ask out her best friend and give her a night to remember. That'll get your girlfriend talking one way or another.

Stop bugging her to reassure you

Life is too short to be with someone who won’t fight for you. Hope that helps.

Run

It’s also a craze calling themselves avoidants. Find someone who’s actually probably into you next time…. By like the 3rd date

You can’t fix this. She needs to go to therapy to address her avoidant tendencies

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