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It is so tough especially if you don’t have a tight knit family or support group nearby. This is a big part of the reason I scaled back to part time work during these early years. Growing a family, caring for our home and continuing the momentum in my career amid covid was too much. We didn’t truly *need* two full time incomes (both worked 50+ hours/week in client service roles).
I hated the constant stress and felt terrible scrambling to find care for my sick kids when they were more comfortable with me! We reprioritized and I still bring in a decent income but have much greater flexibility / independent work time and am with my kids 2-3 days/week. Not doable for all (especially depending on where you live) but we all have been so much happier with this change.
My husband and I have a “shift schedule” for when our toddler is sick. It sucks because we would then have to work at night to make up for the lost time. But we get a nanny on Saturdays to give ourselves a break.
Solidarity! Mine are 5 and 2. I left my FT job in October to start my own biz so I could help more, but it’s heating up now and we are having these issues again. I rely heavily on TV and iPad, and time-consuming activities for them (peeling crayons is a favorite!) those days I usually end up working nights if I’m not too burnt out from being yelled at and playing 100 questions all day 🤷🏻♀️
I work full time with a baby at home. It’s very hard I do have him with grandma 2 days and Friday if I need my mil helps. But usually other days it’s shift work with my husband, unless I have meeting/presentations. Thankfully his job is flexible and he is in charge of his schedule so I work in the am when he can take over and pm when he comes home or when baby naps. It’s insane. But the support of your partner is SOOOO IMPORTANT I wouldn’t be able to do it without him and he wouldn’t be able to do it without me.. also my mom is a treasure
My husband and I rotate sick days back and forth so we share the load. I usually take the first day because I’ve been at my agency for 14 years, have more PTO, and my agency is bigger so it’s easier to transition my work load to others.
It’s stressful. But it lessens with time. Our youngest is now 7 and rarely gets sick.
Does your company have bright horizons backup care? It’s a lifesaver. You can drop off at daycare or have someone come to your apartment. Think it’s like $6 hr for me. Worth every cent and saves my sanity. The only issue is you usually need 24 hours notice.
Umm that’s amazing. Definitely going to ask. Have never heard of it.
I’m believe your feeling is valid. But one day a month, split between you and your husband, during the winter months…. Actually doesn’t sound like a big problem. So we’re saying 2 days each? Maybe 3? I understand the feeling but it may be worth putting it in perspective. It may seem disproportionately challenging right now because we are in the middle if those winter months. But hang in there and Spring will come.
Not sure if this is the case for OP, but for us the challenge right now is the 10 day quarantine due to exposure… which can be even longer with siblings if one has symptoms that happen after the initial shutdown. Personally we have had 3x 2 week shutdowns in the last 2 months… with a toddler and an infant we are STRUGGLING to stay sane while working 50+ hour weeks each.
OP, it’s brutal. No advise but commiserations. I hope this wave ends soon and vaccines for under 5s aren’t far away. And also Spring as Grey1 says— bring it on!
Thanks so much, everyone! It’s great to hear I’m not alone here. My husband’s schedule is less flexible than mine, so it’s a constant strain for us to balance. Seems like there should be a better way but I guess we’re all just doing our best. 💕💕
This is one of the reasons we had a nanny instead of daycare. It was negotiated that she’d come for snow days or sick days. My kid never missed a school day until kindergarten though, but we did have weather closures. My spouse traveled a lot, so it would have been all on me otherwise.