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35 F🐟, Boston, 🙋
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Most of my female friends who are in their mid-30s are dating significantly younger men because the cultural issues in their own generation. Women evolved and older men didn't see a direct benefit to them so they didn't and they're not attractive partners so it's hard to sustain a relationship with them. Less EQ, less of an ability to emotionally regulate, less consideration or awareness of how they affect others around them and quite a bit of hostility and negging toward women and a lot of the men who get that old and don't have partners have commitment issues and don't value intimacy or having a long term partner enough.
I was super against it until I gave it a try and I've had a much better time. They're much more interested in commitment and concerned about my happiness and wellbeing. It's a little weird to me still but my current partner is very happy and so am I so, we'll see how it goes.
On the fertility comment above. 1/3rd of fertility issues are caused by men and 1/3rd caused by women and 1/3rd are unknown (but women are harmed more than anyone by negative outcomes there). Aging sperm is a huge issue and younger women are getting educated to that so it's not like that isn't a concern for men as well. At least for women, with egg freezing, it's pretty easy to have a healthy baby until 42/43 years old. I see one of the best fertility doctors in the U.S. and he has no concerns about me having many years to have kids at 35. It might be a concern for some in the dating pool but that's mostly going to be ignorance (probably older men who believe fertility myths that are mostly misogyny). The younger men I've dated have all had friends or siblings go through the process and have been excited for me and haven't expressed any concerns about their family plans conflicting with mine.
My advice, leave the older men behind. Dating them is traumatizing. They don't like women and they're hostile toward us and they're mostly the ones who believe were damaged or expiring because they were socialized to believe that... there are younger men who are ready for something serious and they're generally grateful to have a self-actualized partner and a partner who's ready and capable of having a good life and lifestyle and they like the proof of concept.
Feel free to date older men if that's your experience with them in intimate relationships. I certainly have not found your sentiment to be true. I've found younger men to have much stronger EQ and that they understand the female experience, aren't hostile toward us, are able to form much stronger bonds with us and be real partners. They're so forthcoming and straightforward because they process their emotions in real time. I feel much safer around them and can depend on them in every way they depend on me.
I only dated men who were older than me until recently and I did not feel safe and often wasn't safe. They never adapted and grew when women did. A ton of them, especially the ones who are still single, held onto antiquated, misogynistic ideal and that is the only indicator that someone will deploy abusive tactics or become physically or psychologically abusive (See the research in Why Does He Do That). Along those lines, they tend to weaponize incompetence (so can't rely on them or trust them to make decisions) and they neg constantly! It was truly an awful experience for me just over and over. I'm so done fighting men with low EQ, no relationship skills, an inability to communicate and especially having my lived experience as a woman straight up not be believed. To me, your statements sound like a red pill man's idea of what women want because they don't even respect us enough to listen to or believe us when we say what we actually want in a man, but a man with EQ is respectable and a man you can depend on and trust. The ones with low EQ are the ones who are looking for mommy-maid. I had to give up on the older men for my well being and I'm definitely not going back so they're all yours!
34-39 if IMO the perfect age range. I appreciate that women this age don’t have time for games and are much more straight forward with their expectations.
Pro
It’s because men that age are overwhelmingly “ not looking for anything serious “ “ looking for something casual” and playing video games as much as most 13 year olds.
That is totally not true unless of course if your goal is the traditionally provider type. I date more successful men after the divorce (36F) than in my early twenties; but I make a lot more money and haven’t totally lost my look. I am much more generous than in my twenties (I would not pay a dime back then), more open-minded and can ask guys out. I am also much more independent and do not need guys’ attention. Don’t need marriage or children either. It’s much nicer to hang out with me (back then it was stressful because I only date guys willing to marry me)
This is a problem all over the US as well. Some guys in that age range want kids, so they want to go younger than 35 to ensure age is not an issue. Some guys don't want kids and don't want to settle down either. Some guys are divorced and bitter. As another woman in that age range, I have started dating younger and that has helped
Bottom line, younger the better, for both sexes
34-35 is the cutoff age for women, mainly driven by the reproductive timeline / concerns.
Additionally, people perceive that most women who are past 34-35 may also have issues from their past traumas that they have yet to heal from…
Or unless they are newly single after a long term relationship lol. Not everyone is single as a result of trauma
Welp men like younger women. Also more men in our age group are already taken.
And those that are not are in here
No there is not a specific age limit I'm 57 years old and I prefer women my own age actually I date or I like to date anywhere from 50 to 64 so no I mean I don't know how old you are but no there is no cutoff age listen if someone is looking for somebody younger he's not worth your time? You need somebody that's good for you not good for somebody younger and if he's only looking for a younger girl or younger lady then he doesn't value good conversation or having something in common with someone special
Unfortunately the reason why women and men are both having such a hard time? Is because everyone is using each other and as soon as it gets difficult they think the grass is greener and it doesn't matter if feelings have taken hold they just move on? And taken from the way guys are looking at women these days? They really are not putting anything on the table for the men? They want everything and are not willing to give anything and I don't mean money I mean things that make a man feel like a man so what makes a man feel like a man a man likes to be reassured he likes to be complimented he likes to be above all appreciated. Unfortunately women today believe it's all about them and appreciate a man as long as they have money