I recently asked everyone’s age filters on dating apps and there were some mentions of fear of baggage and that’s why you don’t date older than X. What baggage are you afraid of? Ex spouses? Kids from prior relationships? What is it?

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What some view as baggage I might call wisdom. Experiences that lead to greater maturity, more self awareness, better relationship communication skills, deeper understanding of how to make a relationship successful, higher emotional intelligence, etc.

A toxic relationship with a former spouse could be native baggage. Ongoing fights over custody of finances are certainly a distracting issue. Maybe if someone was emotionally scarred in a relationship that could be a challenge vs the wisdom i speak of above.

Every person and situation is different. I dont think its accurate to make sweeping generalizations about baggage. Some may seek a SO with kids while others avoid it. Some may not care about a SOs financial woes while others may avoid it. And the list goes on...

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I expect someone older to have baggage - to me that's indicative of life experience, and probably lessons learned. In fact, I prefer to date someone divorced, and kids are great, too. The baggage that would concern me is if they have a very messy relationship with their ex that causes lots of drama.

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I hate the baggage term — especially when referring to children . I see it done to often

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Baggage to me would be a bad relationship with an ex as well as personal issues that might affect the relationship. Financial issues for sure as well, and, even tho some hate to hear it, children to me are baggage that I don't want, I don't have/want any of my own so, sorry but I don't really want to deal with issues with your kids 🤷🏽‍♂️

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I think everyone has baggage after 30, but it really depends on how the person dealt with it and how the person desires to manage things in the future. Hardship can really be a pro if it has made the person stronger, more loving.

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I never should use everybody and nobody, because that is rarely correct. But most people above 30 do. A death, a trauma, an illness (of a family member), a divorce. I am happy that you never have had to experience something that had a big negative impact on your life! Hope you can stay happy! :)

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The only baggage would be huge debt or a super crazy ex.

I’d add Resentments and being stuck in the past

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