Rice: Porsche Macan valeted at an overpriced wine bar (the driver just sent back a bottle)

UT: Tesla Model 3 riding to a music festival (the driver is on shrooms and listening to Joe Rogan)

A&M: Toyota Tundra setting up a tailgate at the crack of dawn (the driver is manning the grill and brought a full-sized American flag)

SMU: Daddy’s Range Rover at the country club valet (registered to a LLC. The driver has never worked a day in their life)

Cont.

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Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

TCU: Daddy’s Denali at the State Fair (it’s never seen dirt and the driver’s boots cost more than their tires)

Baylor: Mommy’s BMW X3 chauffeuring kids to a megachurch on Sunday (it hasn’t exceeded the speed limit since Bush was Commander in Chief)

Tech: Dodge Challenger revving its engine in the Hooters parking lot (the driver is picking up his baby momma)

UH: Nissan Altima propped on the curb of a trap house (hazards on, driver is missing)

State: Doorless Jeep Wrangler stuck in the sand on Galveston beach (cooler fell out 2 miles back but the driver was too stoned to notice)

You know it’s true

funny

I'm in the truck setting up a tailgate at the music festival, manning the grill while on shrooms 🤘

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Do Texas Tech and UH next!

Revving the engine of my Porsche at hooters as we speak!

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