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“Your presence at the big day is the best gift we could ask for. If you’d like to get us something in addition, we’ve thought a lot about what would be most helpful to us as we started our life together, and you’ll find a list of those things here”
Hah! Yeah I know we'll get things like that. The big thing is that we're not a young couple—we've lived together for a while already and have most of the necessities, but we already had someone gift us a set of pots and pans because they thought it would look great in the kitchen. Oof!
They will do what they want. Usually you can return whatever they get you hopefully. It is kinda weird but i got a few items not on my registry. Personally i do registry or cash
How much cash is a good gift as a couple?
I feel your pain! We have relatives who persist in gift giving and it’s maddening. One direct way to deal with it is to say if it’s not on the registry it’s getting donated. Harsh? Perhaps. Alternatively, don’t tell them but donate anyway.
When people ask what to get you, send them a link to your registry.
Pro
Tell people you have a registry! And make the link easy to find! It’s definitely not impolite to just point them to it. We had a registry and people mostly bought that or gave cash - it makes it easy for the guests. We only got like 1 rogue gift. Any rogue gifts I would assume come with receipts and you can return for at least store credit - the gift givers don’t know when you return something