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Why do bad things always happen to good people
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Seek mental help support immediately. What you are describing is a torture of a life and you and your family should not suffer this much. I understand since I have been in the same position. Make sure you talk through your feelings. Perhaps medication is the answer, but you need to speak with a medical professional. You got this!
Chief
SM1, I am truly sorry for what you went through. After a collapse, my therapist and wife got me to a psychiatrist. I have been on antidepressants for a few weeks. I’m still me, I’m just me with less noise, anxiety, and the bad thoughts have subsided,
Have you looked into short-term disability at all? Mine had a 100% coverage period, and honestly taking medical leave while still getting a paycheck probably saved my life. I was the primary earner too, so I know how trapped that can make you feel.
Also, if your PCP is willing, see if they can get you in with a psychiatrist soon. PCPs can absolutely help, but psychiatrists are usually better equipped when things get this bad.
I mean this genuinely: you can’t keep carrying this level of pain and pressure by yourself forever. You matter too.
I just want the pain to stop. I need it to stop.
You’re right to take responsibility for the mistakes you’ve made — that’s part of being honest. But honesty doesn’t end with identifying where you went wrong. It also means recognizing that failure doesn’t make you beyond repair.
When I finally learned to compare my thoughts to the truth instead of the stories my mind was telling me, I realized something important: the pain wasn’t coming from responsibility itself, but from believing that responsibility meant I was ruined. That’s a lie pain tells.
The truth is that correction is possible. Repair is possible. You’re not stuck with the worst version of yourself.
An honest safety plan isn’t about pretending you didn’t fail — it’s about giving yourself a way to stand back up. Truth exposes the wrong turns, but it also shows the way forward. And that way forward still exists for you.
Thank you all. It really means a lot to me.
Do you have the ability to go take a walk? Quick 5 or 10 minutes around the block? Throw on some noise cancelling headphones with relaxing music, or no headphones at all, phone stays in pocket, and focus on the things around you - people, cars, birds, etc. You’re inspiring me to go make my prep list for the week so thank you for that! I always say I need to do it and either forget or just don’t lol
Any idea why you’re still feeling uneasy - does the game plan feel unrealistic? Do you need more time or hands to help? Having a second set of eyes to help me validate I’m not missing something always helps reduce my stress
Thank you. An order of magnitude understaffed in a toxic environment. I do not have enough control over all the variables to dig out here. And my ego is too wrapped up in my career for me to fail. I stand on Sun Tzu’s dead ground, the only way out is to succeed but the odds are too long.
I have felt like this before, getting on medication helped. Is this an option?
If it’s a toxic job, start planning your exit. Dust off resume and start applying and talking to recruiters in your spare time.
Chief
I’m getting better. Much better.
Have you tried going to the park outside to take a walk? Going outside can help you to destress. Journaling your thoughts are also therapeutic cause I also did that whenever I want to vent but can’t find a trusted person to tell it to. Sometimes I talk to God in prayer about what’s bothering me which can also help cause only God can bring us long term satisfaction
Same ✨
Journaling is easier to do now bc of the phone
And yes, have to talk to God, always 💖
I always want to go outside for a walk but THAT is a difficult task for me ! I’m scared that if I walk outside alone I am going to get attacked by a dog or some crazy person. Everyday is a struggle. I feel trapped in my own house. I stopped talking to a lot of family members. I don’t have any friends left. I’m suspicious of everyone’s intentions around me. I tried seeing doctors and psychiatrist and always end up giving up on them and medications. I don’t know what to do! The longest I lasted in a job was 4 years and that’s a miracle. Now I’m barely lasting a month. I quit my job weeks ago because it was too toxic for me. People gossiping constantly about other co-workers, red-flag! I just want to feel happy and enjoy life something you would think would be simple but for some it’s a nightmare.
You are my stor reading your comment I th I wrote it I am going through the same thing step by step my God bless you I wish i had something to say or curse to help but I am still struggling and stuck in my head and fea also i don’t know you personally but mentally we are one you will be in my heart and prayers every time I ge on knees
This is what Sunday evening w33d is for!😎
I'm with you brother. Things at work went from exciting and interesting and jumping around and doing what needed to be done to, management push to get products into production at any cost, (i was the monkey in the middle, ) everything had to cross my desk and after over a year of living in panic mode, they got sick of me yelling them that I need help and they need to slow down the launches so we (I) can catch up just to the point that I have some confidence in the work I'm doing. So they let me go.
I've been living in severe depression and anxiety for longer than I can remember, but that put me over the edge.
That was two days ago, I'm panicking because I am the main source of income for my family. The last time I was out of work (2020) it took me 10 months to find a new job. (At 2/3 the pay) we had almost $30k in the bank at that point. (Had to back out of buying the house we were just about to close on. )
Still haven't recovered from that and don't have any bankroll to fall back on this time.
Going for long walks is helping, a little bit, but I'm in a dark enough place that I can barely eat because I'm worrying how I'm going to support my family.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It really does seem like it’s a sign of the times. I hope you filed for unemployment, if you haven’t get that in order. Getting out in the sun and walking is actually really good
If you connect w Nextdoor (neighborhood app) you’ll find ppl looking for help doing all kinds of things, moving something to weeding, putting a piece of furniture together, etc. I’ve also seen ppl who might need someone 2-3 days a week to help w odd jobs etc
Do Not loose Faith. I always told my kids that it’s easy to have faith when all is nice and good, it’s not so easy when life is dark. That’s when you need faith the most. Faith in a higher power or in yourself or both. You got this . Something will come around. Wishing you the best moving forward.
If your company has eap, those are usually staffed 24x7 and u can talk to someone right away and they can give you some councilors numbers to help you eat this elephant.
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I'm glad you got help. "Less noise" is a powerful way to describe it. Wishing you continued healing. Your family needs you, not a perfect version of you.