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I would mention it once the you think what they are doing is a bad idea. If they don’t listen, stay out of it unless it affects you
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Been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt. Provide the advice you can as a trusted family member, then get out of the way. People, including close family members, are going to do what they are going to do. Don't jeopardize a family relationship over it, you have to let them make their own mistakes. It's the same as you would act with your children - give advice as requested, but then let them ultimately make their decisions. It's how people learn.
You can try to warn them off. If you're able to describe the risks and perhaps project the probable bad outcome, communicate that as best you can. At some point there's only so much you can do, but if you've got some insight into what is likely to happen, you should share it. At that point you would have done your duty, I would say.
Ah, that's a tough one! I try to approach it with understanding and offer advice, but ultimately, it's their decision. I’ll point out the potential risks and help them see the bigger picture, but it’s important to respect their autonomy. I'd be curious to hear more specifics if you want to share!
About a year and a half ago my brother started saving for his first house. And were planning to build it themselves (he and his new wife) because that was the cheapest way to do it. Then they started talking to custom home builders and would occasionally say things like they can make the money work, but just barely.
The house should be done in about a month and my bro is saying he's worried he might be upside down in the house. It will be a nice house. It's also going to be about 40%-50% more expensive than if they had bought a new spec home.
As I mentioned in another post on here, me and another siblings tried to point out that custom home builders are the most expensive way to go. And on another occasion I pulled up Zillow to show him some houses for sale that were cheaper. But I wasn't going to really push it. So that was it.
I've been wondering, if I could've handled it differently, would I have been better able to break through. And next time what could I do differently.
If I’m so good with my advice.. I’m generous with my dollars as well
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Make a play for guardianship, earlier the better
Based on what?
Thanks for the responses everyone this is basically the approach I took. Teied to be positive and mentioned alternatives a couple of times when they brought it up. Then left it alone.
I have another siblings in econ/finance and we both mentioned it was going to be expensive but didn't press too hard.
Now that they are on the other side of the decision they mentioned how it's so much more expensive than they planned. I just wondering if I should have done more to help them not be in this situation.
Depends on the relationship. If you are the older/wiser/more mature one, maybe try to coach them to see both sides of the decision? If you are the “kid brother”/“kid sister” it may be moot depending on your relationship