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I wish my wife communicated this way if she needed help... she isn’t a communicator, so it’s tough. That said, based on this guy... I do a lot. And love it. But there are times when my wife dominates all on her own. I tell her thanks, give her breaks, try to appease to her love language, do additional tasks/ work, try to have her take some alone time, etc. but she still is bitter/ angry/ not fulfilled, etc. we are trying to work through it... but still TBD if will succeed. Communication is key. Collaborating is key. Honesty is key. And asking for help is key. Be vulnerable. It’s ok. I try to model. And yes, I have flaws/ opportunities.... but cant guess what they are, communicate!
I think my (amazing) wife might also have written this
Same. Though I do take the baby mornings, and I'm the one who puts her down at night, so there's that. I get grief, though, if I align my breaks to coincide with the baby's naps when I wfh. My wife definitely needs the downtime.
It takes a village.
Soon to be dad (age 32) with much to learn and a slightly devils advocate perspective. Interested in feedback.
Some of the issue here is the lack of feeling helped....right? After reading the article and some of the posts above it seems like the wives do not feel they are supported enough, or they need more help.
However, that is different for every relationship. Ex.: In the example above you do more than what was explained in the article, but your wife is still unhappy.
I agree communication is key and you don't know what you don't know until you're in it. But I wonder if I should be more proactive in level setting expectations (low) prior to birth and exceeding those expectations to increase get feeling of support through the early years of child rearing. This line of thought reminds me of the "winners curse".
I would like to write this in reverse - if she doesn’t work, that’s her job, quit whining. HOWEVER, the husband should not be a dead beat and allow his wife to sleep, have some free time to her own, etc. but come on, most women wants to be mothers but want “help,” please..
SA1 can’t hurt to make sure you both forecast a bit. Careers, work, kids, in laws, etc. key experiences you expect and interactions. My wife knew I was in consulting (at that time I traveled 4x per week). I actually travel less now, but have random shifts in schedule AND have kids. They have activities etc. it just may be a lot to take in / understand. But yes, try!