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I’m a manager and my philosophy is so long as the work gets done and the team can collaborate as is needed, the team can flex to accommodate requests like this. We all need to have personal lives — it makes us better at what we do. And while it may not be everyone’s ‘time’ today, the need will come around for each of us — whether it be for a child, a parent or another loved one. You’ll hope others do it for you.
I say this so that you know there are managers out there who wouldn’t say no. Look for the right opportunity and know that’s it’s possible.
I am this manager and I’m lucky to have leaders who are also this way. Not everyone is though.
I would have, and might still, just come in late on the day you wanted. HR can’t say yes to this as it’s “precedent” or “policy.” But you just tell your manager you are in At 10 in Thursday’s for the next few months. Not ask. Tell. Own your choices.
I’m a manager, fwiw, and I say ok all the time to stuff like this, but no to work from home.
... that amount of flexibility is not possible. In addition I asked to be able to take 1 hour out of my daytime hours each week in order to go with my daughter to a class. That was also a hard no. Truthfully, I would have taken the 1h class over the wfh any day of the week as it would mean 1 hour where I get to experience the joy and wonder on my babies face as she develops. How cruel is it, I’ve been thinking, that my caregiver gets to watch her laugh and play and learn thing and I get to see it on video once in awhile. But what’s the solution? Like many of you, I want to have a career and I need to work financially. I’m just in such agony and could never have imagined the agony of being a full time out of the home working mom until it was happening to me. I’m missing her grown up.
not sure about wfh one day a week but there ARE jobs with very flexible hours out there! My agency is very lenient in this area with parents coming in late, leaving early, wfh, bringing kids into the office when no daycare or whatever. And humane hours and good work! Keep looking for a healthy culture!
In my experience I found my managers to hide behind HR. I’m so sorry this is how it went down. The same happened to me. I would set serious boundaries going forward. Leave at 5:00, block off your calendar after 3:30.
I don’t know, as a manager, if it was important for me to keep this employee, I would try to push it up the chain even if there was no precedent for doing so.
Everything Manager 1 said. I would look for a new job. There are companies out there that allow this no problem and managers too without you having to “sneak” and do it. They’ve already said no so that should let you know where they stand with your personal life. You’ll likely grow resentful. I’m starting a new position next week and negotiated up front, it feels so much better knowing I have a company that wants me to be an awesome mom just as much as they want me to be an awesome employee
Does HR and/or your manager(s) have kids?
I just took a new role where the focus is on flexibility and treating employees like adults who can make responsible decisions. The sacrifice is that it’s not a sexy agency and I’m not going to be building a strong book of work here. However, it meant I had strong bargaining power during the interview process as they really wanted someone with my experience. My plan is to do a couple of years and then reassess. I can work my way back to good agencies, I can’t get these years back with my little guy. Good luck, and know you deserve the right to see your kid grow up ❤️
This breaks my heart because I’m about to return from leave and can’t imagine missing all of my kiddos firsts