We all have flaws we’ve identified over time that prevent us from reaching personal or professional goals. What do you do when you’ve identified the flaw but can’t seem to get rid of it or change it?

How would you handle a client you don’t respect, OP? You deal with teammates the same way - you focus on what needs to get done, give them benefit of the doubt, be patient, appreciate them professionally to the extent you can and keep on swimming.

There are degrees of relationships - not everyone needs to be a friend or a trusted advisor nor will you click with everyone. Some people are just there to do a task and then move on.

Well I personally find it hard to fake socialize with people I don’t respect or like. The entire world is built on relationships, so that won’t work.

So you’re only nice to people who pay you or exceed your benchmark?

Consulting requires a wide range of soft and technical skills. Everyone has different things they bring to the table - that is why we work in teams. I am horrible in certain areas but my team steps in to help and vice versa.

Your responses seem fairly immature frankly. How do you conceal your true feelings? You act like a mature adult and not my 7 year old who doesn’t understand yet that certain things are not ok to say in public and may hurt other people’s feelings.

So my advice to you would be the same advice I give my kid - focus on treating people the way you want to be treated and understand that everyone is not like you and it doesn’t make them bad.

Good luck, OP!

The flaw is not that you find difficulty in socializing with people you don’t respect. The flaw is that you are socializing with the wrong group.

Assume good intentions. The world is too big to worry about something as subjective as respect. I used to think the game was about things like power, respect and aptitude.

Now, I’ve realized it isn’t a game - it’s just life. It’s more about finding your core crew and helping each other push your boundaries for a better future. All the rest is icing on the cake.

Remember Simon Sinek's quote: 100% of clients are people, 100% of employees are people. If you dont understand people, you don't understand business . Invest time in understanding the people around you. You don't have to like everyone but you'll be more successful if you learn to understand them.

Own it
Get someone else on the team to do that or delegate whatever that is l, if you are the boss

Focus on your strengths. If bullshitting isn’t one, then don’t do it. Keep things professional, do your work and focus on what you can bring to the table to make the group better. Be authentic and you do you. Others will appreciate that!

If it’s interpersonal go to therapy, work your ish out

Well clients are paying us, so they can be whatever they want. But teammates benchmark to a standard. When they aren’t great, particularly when they’re paid more, there’s no professional appreciation.
How do others conceal what they really think?
I know I don’t conceal it, and I know it sabotages relationships. I need to build alliances. The social world is made of the same people, and those alliances are important socially also. Yet I see myself sabotaging every time. How can I just stop? It is on auto play.

Also... chances are that leadership is on to poor performers on the team. You will be viewed more highly if you can work with the team and perhaps even help this person along to make sure the team is successful. At the end of the day you are evaluated for your performance and when others do well, you will too.

Partner, this was a great example. In real life, I’d tell you what I think of your comment and how ironic it was that you complained about something and did it yourself in the same breath. If I tried to hide that I thought it, you’d still see it on my face.
The original problem is I can’t conceal it, and yes I usually am only able to be nice to clients or people who work hard to meet the benchmark for their roles.
Senior Director, your comment was actually helpful. The question is still generally open.

OP I can also relate. Have low patience and have a hard time staying pleasant in the face of bs. It’s helped me to not take things personally and to not be as invested in the outcome when I don’t have control over it. Not a perfect solution but it lets me fake it through difficult days.

The problem is I can tell the communication of what I think about people is nonverbally communicated. I have an 11 month old niece, and she’ll almost injure herself sometimes. For a split second I won’t react favorably because I worry for her safety for a hot second, but I’ll turn to her when I know she’s looking at me to gauge how to react and laugh it off and try to act all is fine. She looks confused for a second then starts crying. She’s no fool, and I’m guessing neither are other people. I don’t need to say something nasty or make a face for others to intuitively sense they aren’t my favorites. That’s the issue.
In business development, people get with you because you genuinely gel with them on something or another. I don’t, and that’s a problem. We know the problem; we know what success looks like; we know what needs to change (sort of); and I’ve clearly not been able to change it. Where do we go from here?

I want to know the answer to this as well.

Yeah I’m stay tuned for this one too

Ditto

Me too

What’s the flaw?

On a project of four teammates, the crew is already defined